


Eyes Vacant and Stained

by JustAScarAway



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Danger days Mikey, Domestic Violence, F/M, Fluff, Homelessness, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Revenge Era Frank Iero, Revenge Era Gerard Way, Smut, Suicide Attempt, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 11:16:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 41,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18622243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAScarAway/pseuds/JustAScarAway
Summary: A post apocalypse story that is less about the end of the world, and more about finding the things you've lost.





	Eyes Vacant and Stained

The end of the world started calmly enough. Rain. Not your normal spring rain, or summer thunderstorm. Just a constant steady downpour. That didn't stop. For 11 months it rained without any sign of slowing. Entire cities flooded. Towns were washed off the map. The oceans crept steadily higher. It’s rumored fifty percent of the county perished in flash floods, mudslides and accidents involving rain weakened structures. And then, as abruptly as it started, it ended. Then came the heat. Temperatures soared to record highs. The rain combined with the heat created a dense suffocating fog that covered all but the highest ground. And then, the creatures. Foul inhuman beings that lurched and lumbered out of the mists. No one was sure where they come from. I heard rumors about anything from a nuclear fall out, to demons risen from hell. We do know that they travel in packs like wolves. And like wolves they are vicious. It's unknown exactly what happens if you get taken, because no one has ever come back. Allegedly another thirty percent of the population have fallen to the "mist men" as the media call them. Or they did, before everything went black.  
Before the rain began the small town of Aurora, Virginia was nothing special. Just close enough to the mountains to be hilly. But far enough from the ocean to be quiet. With a population of just under 1400 it was small. But after the end, it's far smaller. This is where i grew up. Where i was expected to live my life and eventually die. Just like my grandparents did, and my parents one day would. Although I'm sure they never thought it would be this soon. Now to be fair i didn't know if my parents were dead. They were just.....gone. Like so many other people in Aurora. And i was alone. Or i would have been, were it not for my best friend Pete and his boyfriend Mikey. Welcome to Aurora. Population at least three.  
***  
I sat under a skeletal tree, on a hill overlooking my small hometown. It was late. At least i thought it was. It was hard to tell with the near constant twilight the mist caused. I lifted my head, searching for the stars that i knew should be there. I wondered about my parents. About all the missing people. The snap of a twig behind me brought me back to reality. "You really shouldn't be out here all alone you know". "You know me Peter. Always tempting fate" i replied without turning to look at my best friend. "Riv, we have to talk." He started. I could tell by the sound of his voice that this was serious. I drug my eyes from the lack of view to meet his honey brown gaze as he set his lantern down. "What's up Pete?" I asked trying not to let my anxiety creep into my voice. "We need to leave. Mikey wants to go back to New York to try to find his brother. And I'm going with him" he breathed the last part while shifting his gaze to his worn converse, shoulders slumping. "Ok" i replied turning to fix my gaze again to the sky. Out of the corner of my eye i saw his head shoot up. "Ok?" He squeaked. "Yeah, have fun. Be careful, and all that shit" i intoned and saw his face fall. "River you can't stay here. Not alone. You have to come with us" he argued. "For what Pete? The majority of new York is gone. You know that. What you're talking about could be a suicide mission. And even if it's not, how do you know you're going to find him? He's probably gone Pete. Just like every fucking body else" i retorted. "You heard the last news report just like i did. Over seventy percent of the NATION gone. And that was a month ago. Who the fuck knows what's happened since then. Most of the county, gone. And that was before the mist men showed up. So what makes you think Gerard is even still alive?" As strong as my argument started, I ended it with a barely disguised sob. "Riv, listen to me. I love Mikey. But i won't leave you here to die." I opened my mouth indignantly to respond "Don't start River. I know you can take care of yourself. But If you stay, i stay. I can't leave you here." I saw the glimmer of unshed tears standing in his eyes from the shine off the lantern sitting at his feet. "Please. Please come with us" i unwilling met his gaze. I could never say no to him. "Fine" i sighed with more indignation than i actually felt. "But don't come crying to me when this thing blows up in your face" "great. Come on. We want to leave before tomorrow morning..... or tonight.....or whatever the fuck it is" he exclaimed grabbing my hand and dragging me to my feet. "Now come on. Mikey is trying to figure out how to siphon out gas from the neighbors cars, and we should probably help him before he blows himself up" "oh no." I replied "you're in charge of your flammable boyfriend. I'll go pack. And find some food. Who knows how long it's going to take to get to New York" I said as we started to pick our way down the hill "River, wait." Pete said grabbing my hand and tugging me to a stop. I turned around to face him and found myself enveloped in his strong arms "thank you" he whispered in my ear. I shoved him away hiding my grin "as if I'd let you leave without me. Who knows what kind of trouble you'd two idiots would get up to without me to watch out for you" " i love you too River Long" he bellowed to the heavens while dragging me back into a hug. I pushed him away again "come on you dork. Let's go save your helpless boyfriend" i replied not hiding my smile this time. I allowed him to tangle his fingers with mine as we made our way down the slope before making our way to our houses. What have i gotten myself into I thought as I let myself be drug towards my childhood home for what could be the last time.  
***  
After filling a duffle bag with the essentials and another with all the canned food i can find i take a moment to just wander around the house, not knowing if I'd ever see it again. I stare at the pictures that dot the walls. Sitting atop the tv stand is a picture of Pete and i at our senior prom. A small smile creeps onto my face as i take in the sight of my short black dress and dirty red chucks. Pete doesn't look much better with his flat ironed hair, messy eyeliner, tuxedo t-shirt and girl jeans. The picture has caught us in mid laugh. Eyes crinkled up, heads thrown back. Pete's the only person who can make laugh like that, well anymore anyway. Next to it is a picture of Pete and i on our first day of kindergarten proudly holding our matching ninja turtle lunch boxes. Pete has his arm thrown over my shoulder smiling a big toothless grin at the camera as i stand next to him all messy pigtails and scabby knees, head tilted onto his shoulder. Then comes a picture of Mikey, Pete, and I taken three summers ago at a barbeque. We sit at a picnic table, the three of us grinning at the photographer with matching bright pink plastic sunglasses. As i move on to the next picture, the smile abruptly falls from my face as a painful ache erupts in the pit of my stomach. It's a picture of my parents and i, standing in front of my old Toyota the day i left for college. I can clearly see the tears in my mom's eyes as she looks not at the camera, but at me. My dad looks proudly at the camera. Chest puffed out, shoulders thrown back. I've never noticed how clear it was that my parents loved me. Love me. Even after they've been gone for the better part of a month, i refuse to accept that they may never come back. I grab the picture and add it to my bag of clothes. I gazed around the living room one last time, making sure I hadn’t missed anything that I needed to bring with me, my eyes landing on the mirror across the room. I walked towards it staring into my own eyes, taking in how different I looked than the happy pictures placed around my childhood home. As I met my own bright green gaze framed by long dark lashes, I shifted my eyes to take in my shaggy shoulder length black hair, small straight nose and generous mouth. I felt like I should look different. That after everything, something should have changed. But aside for looking more tired than normal, I still looked like me. The same small emo girl I’ve always been. I sigh heavily and turn from the mirror. The only thing i have left to do is the leave a note. In case they come back. After sticking a short letter describing where we're going to the fridge i walk out the front door, pulling it firmly closed. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before stomping down the porch steps and walk down two houses where Mikey is leaning against the side of Pete's jeep smoking a cigarette. I watch the way the light from the cherry of his smoke slightly illuminates his face, defining his already sharp jawline. He turns head when he becomes aware of my presence, his hazel eyes widening momentarily, and then crinkling into a smile when he realizes it me. He shakes his longish blond hair out of his face and shifts his gangly body to stand up straighter. "What's up moon beam!" He yells to me louder than necessary in the stillness. "Michael James for the millionth time, i assure you my middle name is not moonbeam" i say with an exasperated tone as i steal his smoke and bring it to my mouth. "Hey!! That's my last one!" He yelps indignantly. "And with a first name like River, I'm gonna need some hard evidence on the middle name sweetheart" he finishes as he snatches the cigarette back from me. "Why won't you tell me you're middle name anyway. I can't even pry it out of Pete!" He exclaims as he allows his smoke to leak from his mouth. "You're impossible, And I do it because i know it drives you crazy" i state with a grin, as i tip my head back to exhale a cloud of smoke into the dark sky. "So what's the plan here? Any idea where Gee is? When was the last time you talked to him?" I ask as i round the back of the jeep to deposit my bags in the cargo space. "Exactly a month ago. Right before everything went black. We decided that if went we thirty days without hearing from each other we would make our way to our parents house and wait for the other" he explains as he starts loading the rest of our gear into the back of the jeep. "So it's Jersey then. Not new York?" " Right. We figured it would be too hard to find one another in New York. So my parents house just made sense. " he finished, slamming the back hatch closed. "I must say Mikes. That's way more forethought than I'd expect for you. I am truly impressed." I tell him while patting his shoulder "Yeah" he answers with a blush " it was actually Frankies idea." Frankie? I think to myself. No one told me Frank was involved. Just then Pete bursts through the front door of his house carrying his own duffle interrupting my internal monologue. "Alright. I love you Mikes, but can can't read a map for shit. Riv gets shotgun. Let's get this show in the road" Pete says while striding towards us. As Mikey opens the passenger side door and climbs into the backseat, I stand outside the car for a long moment gazing around the only real home I've ever known. God i hope to see it again. Pete pops his head over the top of the jeep. "River. Get your ass in the car. We gotta go". And with one final glance around i slide into the passenger seat and slam the door shut.  
***  
I gasped as Frank sucked gentle bruises on my collarbone and while working open the buttons of my pants. "Frank. Fuck Frank come on" i whimpered as his mouth continued its journey south. "Shhh baby. I got you. I'm gonna take such good care of you" he whispered against my skin. He mouthed at my hip bone as he began to slid my jeans down, revealing the black lace panties i had put on in the hopes that this would happen. "Fuck River. Look at you. I can't wait to unwrap you like a fucking present" he moaned as he reached down to palm himself through his jeans. He gripped the top of my underwear and slowly started to ease them down. He nuzzled his nose into the now visible nest of neat dark curls, taking in a deep breath. "Fucking shit Riv. You smell so fucking good" he groaned. His gorgeous green eyes snapped open and bore into mine as he drew his head back. "Watch me" he whispered before he lowered his head back down.  
***  
"River! Wake the fuck up" Pete yelled directly in ears while violently shaking my shoulder. "Shit Pete. What the hell is wrong with you" i groaned bringing a hand up to try to grind the sleep from my eyes. Pete grinned his trademark impish smile "piss break" he replied as he heaved himself out of the car. I glanced over my shoulder to see Mikey cuddled up in the backseat peacefully asleep. "Why the fuck didn't you wake up your boy toy then" i whined as i opened my door "two reasons, now that you ask" he replied "number one, you'd have to wake up anyway Riv, he’s sitting behind you dumb ass." I made an indignant noise at this "but more importantly he can piss outside. I thought you'd appreciate this more" he finishes while motioning towards the rest stop that i just now noticed. "Oh my God Pete. An actual real toilet. You really know the way to my heart. You got a....." I trailed off, getting my answer as i saw him hold up the lantern. He set down the light, struck a match and adjusted the flame. "Three days without a real toilet. I'd kiss you If i didn't think Mikey'd murder me" i finished. "Ok" he started "lemme check it out before you go in" "fuck that shit. We'll just go in together. It'll be fine. We haven't seen anything since we passed through Finney two days ago. It'll be ok. Now come on. I've never wanted to wash my hands so bad in my life" i finished as i grabbed his hands and dragged him towards the men's restroom. The echo of our footsteps bounce around the cinder block room as we walk in. Pete sets the lantern on the nearest sink and then makes a bee line for the urinals. "Men's restrooms are so gross" i mutter to myself over Pete's satisfied groan. "Scratch that. Men in general are gross" "you love me" he says , his grin evident in his voice "now get in there and do your thing. I’d like to make it a few more hours before i have to stop to sleep" he finishes. I lock myself in the nearest stall to "do my thing" as Pete so eloquently put it. "You know this wouldn't take so long if you'd let someone else drive" i yelled at him through the door. "Two problems with that sweetheart. Firstly, you can't drive a stick" he had me there. "And two, there's no way in hell I'm letting Mikey drive. I love that boy with all my heart, but if he wrecked my baby I'd have to kill him. And you'd have to help." He finished as i heard him walk towards the sinks. "Why would i have to help" i asked flushing and opening the stall door. "Best friend code bro. It's like the law" i grinned as i started to walk towards him, only to abruptly stop. I could feel my mouth drop open and eyes widen. I tried to catch Pete's eye in the mirror , but he was fully concentrating on scrubbing his hands, completely oblivious to the figure creeping towards him just outside of the circle of light. "So i was thinking, we drive maybe three more hours, then start looking for a place to crash for the night" i barely registered what he was saying as i surged towards him, yanking him towards me by then back of his black tank top. "What the fuck River!!!" He yelled as i heard stitches pop at the back of his shirt "this is my favorite fucking shirt and...." His monologue abruptly stopped as a grabbed his chin, forcing his face up to see the mist man still shuffling towards us, it's moist skin glistening in the lamp light. "Holy shit" he breathed as we started backing up only to hit the wall after four steps. I glanced to my right as i saw the stall door next to us begin to swing open revealing another mist man. "Oh fuck" i breathed. "Pete. On the count of three, we make a run for it." I said as i eyed the door fifteen feet to Pete's left. "What about the lantern" he asked. "Forget the lantern. We'll get another one. Did you leave the car unlocked?" I replied "yea" he answered nervously eyeing the monster to my right. "Alright. Ready? One. Two. Three." I barely got the last word out before we bolted for the door. The jeep seemed impossibly far away as we ran across the parking lot. I heard the rustle of gravel to the left and glanced that way only to be met with the sight of two more mist men stumbling towards us, much faster than i liked. We skidded to a stop at the car, and threw ourselves into the seats, the doors barely closing before it roared to life and Pete tore out of the lot in a spray of gravel. I turned around to gaze out the back window and my mouth dropped open in shock as i saw at least twenty mist men converge on the spot where we had been parked not thirty seconds ago. "That was too fucking close dude. Next time, scout the situation, then pee" i breathed out as i sunk back into my seat. "Mother fucker" i yelled as i bolted straight up, and slammed my hands down on the dashboard. "What now?" Pete replied as his eyes darted to the rear view mirror. "I didn't get to wash my hands" i pouted as slumped back down. Pete was silent for a moment before he threw back his head and laughed. Reaching a hand over he ruffled my black hair "priorities babe" he chuckled shaking his head. "What are you two idiots going on about. I'm trying to sleep" a very rumpled Mikey popped his head up from the back seat with a scowl on his face. Pete and i looked at each other and burst out laughing again. Mikey shook his head "weirdos" he muttered and he curled back up in the back seat.  
***  
Two days later the three of us sat on the hood of Pete's jeep eating canned cold spaghetti and meatballs. We had pulled over onto the gravel shoulder about thirty miles outside of Mikey’s hometown. Pete made a disgruntled noise as he flung a cold meatball into the ditch that ran along the berm. "I would kill for a fucking pizza" he grumbled as he shoved another spoonful into his mouth. "I love you babe, but i would sell you for a cheeseburger" Mikey added pressing a kiss to Pete's cheek. "Oh my God you guys, nachos." I replied with a groan. "We gotta stop. This is torture. How long before get to your folks’ house Mikes?" I asked tossing my empty can into the plastic bag between my feet. "Well as long as we don't hit anymore washed out roads i would say no more than two hours. Jesus you guys. I can't wait to sleep in a real bed. That back seat sucks nuts Pete." Mikey replied stretching his long arms over his head. I winced as i heard his back pop several times. "We can trade if you want" i offered "you know this area better than any map would anyway". He nodded as he handed me his trash to stow in the bag. He plucked Pete's empty can out of his hand. "Come on handsome. Let's get going" i slid off the hood and rounded the side of the jeep, pulled open the door and crawled into the back of the car. "Mikes how the fuck did you fit back here with your giraffe limbs" I complained as i tried to situate my small frame comfortably into the tiny seat. "Eh it's not so bad once all your limbs go numb" he replied with a grin, meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror. "Oh awesome." I grumbled as i scrunched down into the seat stuffing a hoodie under my head as a pillow. The sound of the engine and the soft murmur of Mikey giving Pete directions were enough to lull me to sleep within minutes.  
***  
Frank gazed into my eyes as he licked his way from my belly button to the hollow of my throat. "Please Frank. I need you" i whispered as i tilted my head to the side to allow him to gently bite the juncture where my shoulder met my neck. "Ok baby. Tell me what you want" he mumbled against my neck as he moved to kiss behind my ear. "I want you Frankie. Please. I wanna feel you" i whimpered, all but shaking with need. Frank shifted back onto his knees between my legs as he reached for a condom on the table next to the bed. He set it on the bed next to me and then reached to gently pull off my underwear. His eyes darkened with lust as he took in the sight of my naked body spread out on the bed below his. "Fuck River. You are the most gorgeous thing i have ever seen" he breathed. He made quick work of his boxer briefs before he ripped open the condom and rolled out down his hard cock. He draped his body over me as he lifted my chin to meet his eyes. "I love you River. And nothing is ever going to change that" he whispered against my lips as i felt him push into me. "Frankie, i love you. I love you so much" i whispered back before I tangled my hands in his dark hair and kissed him deeply as he rocked into me.  
***  
I blinked my eyes open, squinting into the pale morning light. Wait. Morning light? I sat up quickly as i realized we were no longer moving. We were parked in front of a modest two story house. But the most shocking thing was the sun that appeared to have just started rising. I could actually see it. Then i noticed it wasn't nearly had humid as it has been recently. The last thing i realized was i was alone. Mikey and Pete were nowhere to be seen. Oh fuck. What happened. Did they get taken? Is it just me now? My inevitable panic attack was interrupted by a sharp knock on the side of the jeep. I yelped and spun around to face the back window to be met with Pete's stupid grin. "Peter you mother fucker!!! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I gasped trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart. "Woah dude. I thought you heard me" he raised both hands into the air, palms facing me in a clear sign of submission "you're the one that says I walk like a herd of buffalo" he finishes with a apologetic smile on his face. "Now come on. Everybody's asleep, but i wanted to get you in the house before i crashed out." He opened the door and hauled me out barely giving me time to grab my bag. Tangling our fingers together, he drug me into the house. "I'll give you the full tour once were all rested" He whispered as he lead me up a short flight of stairs "but this is Mikey's parents house." i rolled my eyes and only barely suppressed the"duh" that wanted to slip out. He led me down the hallway and stopped in front of two doors facing each other at the end. " i know you probably have a lot of questions. And i promise you'll get all the answers. But you need sleep" he said as he caught me confused look. He gestured to the door behind him "this is Mikey's room. He's already asleep, but he said you could crash in the spare room. They have a generator, so we have power and stuff, and you can clean up after you wake up" he finished motioning to the door behind me. "Oh. Ok cool. Well sleep well i guess" I mumbled as i reached for the door knob. "River" Pete said behind me, making me turn towards his voice. He pressed a kiss to my forehead before resting his against mine. "Thank you." He whispered before he turned to Mikey's room and disappeared inside. I sighed deeply as i reached behind me to open the door. The room was dark when i walked in and i felt around for a light switch as i closed the door. I dropped my bag to the floor as i successfully located the light switch and flipped it on. I felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room as my gaze landed on the bed. Or more accurately the person buried beneath the covers. His longish dark hair spread out on the pillow forming a halo around his head. One olive toned, tattooed hand curled delicately next to his cheek. His lips slightly parted as he breathed softly. I hadn't seen him for over a year and a half. Since the night i walked out on him, but he looked exactly the same. He was still the most beautiful person i had ever seen. My internal freak out came to an abrupt and screeching halt as the gorgeous green eyes snapped open. "River? I was dreaming of you" he whispered , his voice rough with sleep. And at that my overworked brain gave up. "Oh" i managed before i crashed to the ground in a dead faint.  
***  
I was warm. That was the first thing i thought when i regained consciousness. I couldn't remember the last time i felt this warm. Maybe i died. Maybe this is heaven. I stretched my legs out, and wiggled my toes wincing as my knee popped painfully. Nope, probably not heaven. I sighed and snuggled further down into the cozy blankets, ready to fall back asleep for a few hours when i realized i wasn't alone in the bed. I noted a solid warmth at my back, and the heavy weight of what could only be an arm thrown over my hip. Huh. That's weird. Who could i be in bed with. My eyes shot open as it all came rushing back to me. Frank's sleep drunk voice. His emerald eyes pinning me into place. No. I couldn't be in bed with Frank. I took a deep breath and shifted over onto my back. I waited a moment, and then cracked open one eye. I was met with the sight of short black hair and tan skin. Pete. Oh thank God. I let out a breath i hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Jesus Riv! Morning breath" Pete muttered as he came awake stretching his arms over his head with a satisfied groan. "Pete what are you doing in my bed" i asked as i threw back the covers, Only to snatch them back quickly "and where the fuck are my pants!" I yelled my voice rising at the end of my sentence. "Calm down your majesty, i assure you your virtue remains in tact" he snorted as he heaved himself out of bed. I realized he was wearing nothing but his boxers, i swear that boy has no shame. "Your pants are off because i didn't think you'd wanna sleep in those grungy jeans, cute panties by the way" he said with a wink "and I'm in here instead of snuggling with my smoking hot boyfriend because Frank came and got me after you nose dived to the floor. I didn't think you should be left alone. And by the way River, i didn't know he was in here i swear to God." He finished as he caught my eye. I saw nothing but sincerity there as i said "i never thought you did Pete. So where is everyone else, also who is everyone else?" I asked as i watched him stroll around the bed to the door completely comfortable in the way his trim figure looked mostly naked. "Far as i know it's us, Frank, and Gerard, although Mikey mentioned something about being friendly with a couple of guys down the street. I haven't seen Frank since we got you back in bed, if i had to guess I'd say Gee is downstairs mainlining coffee and my sweet prince is still in bed." As he reached the door and swung it open "but I'm gonna go wake up him up......... with my dick!" He yelled the last part as the door swung back shut. Thirty seconds later i heard a thump that could only be Pete launching himself onto the bed, followed by an unmistakable Mikey-like squawk. I slipped out of bed, reaching for my bag and preparing a mental list. Pants. Coffee. Cigarette. Those were my top three priorities, and I'm pretty sure i could find two and three together downstairs. Now for pants.  
***  
Twenty minutes, a pair of pants, and a stop in the bathroom later i followed the scent of coffee downstairs to the kitchen. I rounded the corner and was greeted by the sight of Mikeys older brother Gerard sitting at the kitchen table hunched over a giant map, messy shoulder length black hair hanging in his face, a cigarette in one hand, and a coffee mug in the other. Jackpot, i thought to myself. "Morning moon beam" Gee said without looking up. "Ugggggggh! Not you too!" I groaned as i sunk into the chair opposite him. He met my eyes over the rim of his mug as he settled back in his seat. He motioned to the pot on the stove as he chugged the remaining coffee in his hand. "Help yourself" he said settling back in the chair, and bringing his smoke to his mouth. I got up to make myself a cup, then settled back down after i refilled his. "Oh my God Gee. You are a God amongst men" i groaned as i sipped my drink. He gave me a crooked smile "are you feeling better? I heard you fainted right after you got here" while he still had the smile on his face i saw concern in his hazel eyes. "Ok first of all i passed out. Fainted makes it sound like I'm some helpless princess in a Hans Christian Andersen story. And secondly I'm fine. The stress of the last couple of days along with seeing.... I mean getting here.... My brain just short circuited. I'm ok now." I took a gulp of my coffee to stop myself from sticking my foot further in my mouth. "I'm real sorry about that. If I'd known you guys were gonna get here that soon i would have told him to sleep in my room" "it's fine" i dismissed, waving my hand, trying to look unbothered. "So Pete mentioned something about answers?" I swiftly changed the subject. "Well" he started as he crushed his cigarette out in a nearby ashtray "we still don't know a lot, but it's more than we knew a month ago. First of all, you probably noticed that the sun is visible again. Or at least more than it has been, and that the humidity seems to be dropping. But you may not have noticed that the mist men have been disappearing. We're pretty sure they're connected. I mean no mist means no mist men. Makes sense right" he paused to light another cigarette, then passed me the box and lighter. He paused for a moment to deeply inhale from his smoke and raised his face, blowing it out towards the ceiling. "it also seems like the floods are receding. Most places near the ocean, California, Florida, most of Texas are still under substantial amounts of water, but a lot of the higher elevation states like Colorado and Montana area almost back to normal." As he spoke he gestured to the map with the hand holding his cigarette, sprinkling ashes all over the table in the meantime. "I have a friend named Ray who lives in Boulder. I've been in contact with him over CB radio, and he says there's some kind of safe haven there. A lot of survivors are headed there, and i think we should go too. Of course it's not entirely up to me. You guys would have to agree to go. All of us, or none of us." As he finished talking he rose from his chair to put his mug in the sink. He stopped and leaned against the counter, and I was momentarily struck by the similarities between he and Mikey. Gerard was several inches shorter than Mikey’s lanky frame even though he still had at least five inches over me, and not nearly as slender. Where Mikey had a straight Roman nose, Gee’s small and upturned and had midnight black hair as opposed to Mikey’s dirty blonde. But they had the same eyes. And they held themselves in very much the same manner. The spell was broken when he pushed himself away from the counter clearing his throat and ambled his way towards the door. He stopped just behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "But we don't need to worry about any of that right now. You guys need a couple days to rest before we even think about going anywhere." He dropped a kiss onto the top of my head and lightly squeezed my shoulder before he left the room. I sat for a moment, watching dust motes dance in a lone beam of sunlight, before i grabbed Gerards cigarettes and lighter, and went out the back door. I plopped down on the porch steps, lit a cigarette, and leaned my head against the railing. I had a lot to think about.  
***  
I looked down at Frank as he slept peacefully in our bed. He looks so beautiful. I had spent the last three hours walking around the house trying to gather up the things that i decided i couldn't live without. I picked up and put down the same items so many times i had finally decided all i would take are my clothes. I couldn't take anything else, because everything else would remind of him. As i finished stuffing the last of my things into a backpack in the living room, i zipped it closed, stood up and walked to stand at the bedroom door. I felt tears begin to fill my eyes as i took a moment to take in the sight of the only man I'd ever really loved. I wiped my eyes with the back of hand as i crept to the side of the bed. I reached out to tuck his dark hair behind his ear before i snatched my hand back. I didn't deserve to touch him after what i was about to do. I placed a note on my pillow and tip toed back out. I spared one last glance back, and my eyes fell on the inadequate explanation I'd left. It simply said "I'm sorry" but the ring i had tied to it with a ribbon spoke volumes. I suppressed a sob as i grabbed my bags and eased the door shut behind me. I turned and rested my forehead on the front door as i finally let myself cry. "I love you" i whispered before i made my way down the sidewalk, and away from the life we'd made.  
***  
After smoking way too many of Gerard's cigarettes I sat on the steps of the back porch with my face tilted up into the sunlight. "It's weird isn't it". I froze. I knew i was going to have to talk to him, i was just hoping to prolong it a little longer. "I mean, we went so long without seeing the sun, it's so weird that it's suddenly back" I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. He was leaning back against a tree about ten feet from me, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He looked like he had stepped out of a dream, slouched casually in his Misfits t-shirt, chucks and jeans the hung perfectly from his narrow hips. His hair was longer than the last time I saw him, but still had a carelessly messy style that suited him. "It feels amazing" i said as i averted my eyes to my bare feet. "I missed you" he whispered. "Frank i can't do this right now" i said, pushing myself to my feet. "Then when River. You disappeared. For almost two years. No phone calls. No emails. You could have died and i never would have known. I think i deserve some answers Riv. You owe me that at the very least." He pushed himself away from the tree and stalked toward me. "I don't owe you anything Frank. I couldn't do it. And i thought it would be easier this way. I left to give you a chance to find someone else" i reasoned as i stood up. Although i was standing on the second step, and he was on the ground, i was still barely as tall as him. "You couldn't..... You couldn't do it? Then why the fuck did you say yes! Why did you lead me to believe you loved me, make me the happiest i have ever been, to rip my fucking heart out River?! Explain that to me!" He exploded, clenching his hands to fists "Was it all a fucking game to you? Was i just a game?" I saw tears shine in his eyes as his rage began to subside and pain clouded is face, and it broke my heart. "Frank......." I started. "No. You know what? Never mind. I might have been interested a year ago, hell i would have been interested six months ago. But clearly you don't care. Probably never did." The tears began falling in earnest as he pushed passed me and entered the kitchen, just as Pete was coming out. Pete turned to stare at his retreating form, and then at me. ".......so ....... got any more cigarettes?" He said trying to lighten the mood. A half sob, half laugh bubbled up from my throat as i threw myself into his arms. "Hey. It's ok. And your ass looks amazing in those jeans" he said earnestly and he lifted my face to meet his gaze. I threw back my head and laughed loudly. "I hate you Pete" as replied as i buried my face in his t-shirt. "I love you too moon beam" he whispered and he kissed my temple and hugged me tight.  
***  
After the mandatory Pete snuggle and nap we found ourselves sitting on the living room floor with our backs pressed against the wall passing a bottle of Jim Beam back and forth between us. Because we were trying to conserve the fuel in the generator we had lit several candles and placed them around the room. Close enough to illuminate the area, but far enough away to be safe from the walking accident known as Pete. "Where's Mikey?" I asked, suddenly realizing i hadn't seen him all day. "Uh, he went out on patrol with Frank. They drive around the area a couple of times a day, keeping an eye out for mist men. I think they went to talk to the guys who live a few doors down too. Joseph and Patrick. They seem nice enough." Pete replied as he raised the bottle and squinted at it, trying to determine how much was left. "There's a group of them, mist men i mean, that may be getting too close for comfort, so they're keeping an eye on it" he finished before he took a large gulp of the liquor, and pulled a face as it burned on the way down. He handed the bottle to me as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. I stared across the room without really seeing anything, playing with the label on the bottle. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked. I glanced over to him, and saw he'd cracked an eye open to look at me. "Not really" i sighed letting my head fall onto his shoulder. "Ok, then I'll talk and you listen. Whatever happened two years ago is no one's business except yours and Frankie's. That being said, you're my best fucking friend, and i can tell you're still hurting. From what i overheard this afternoon, i gather its wasn't Frank that did the leaving, or even knew it was going to happen" he stopped when he saw me glare at him "Riv. Calm down. I'm just stating facts as i see them. You didn't want to talk. So just listen. I don't know what happened. Mostly because you disappeared, and then refused to talk about it once i found you at your mom's house. And that's fine. You deserve your privacy, but this is tearing you apart. I know it is." As he finished i leaned forward to rest my chin on my knees. "He asked me to marry him Pete" i whispered ".........ok. And?" I could tell he was waiting for me to continue. "And i said yes" i said with a shrug, like it wasn't killing me to relive it. "Ok River, unless the next thing out of your mouth is he turned into a demon and tried to get you to participate in ritualistic puppy murder, then i don't get it" i let out a bitter laugh at that. "I just couldn't do that to him. You know how i am. I ruin everything. He's the sweetest, kindest, most generous man I've ever met. And i couldn't let myself drag him down." I finished buried my face in my hands. "Ok River. What actual the fucking fuck. You're right. I do know you. I've known you since we were in preschool. And i can tell you you never give yourself any credit. You’ve been through hell, and came out on the other side. Maybe damaged, but not broken. You're so much stronger than you let yourself think. And you would tear down the world for the people you love. You've put up with me for over two decades, and for that alone you deserved fucking sainthood. " he reached over and grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to face him. "River Long. You deserve happiness. Let yourself have it" he finished pulling me into a hug. "It's to late Pete. I'm sure it's too late. He's probably met someone who can give him everything. I'm sure he's happier without me" i whimpered into his shoulder. "He's not" both of us jumped at the sound of Gerard's voice. He stepped into the room from the darkened hallway. "You broke him into a million pieces. He didn't leave his house for three weeks after you disappeared, and then only because James and i forced him to. He's just recently within the last few months started coming back to himself, and that was only because he finally heard from Mikey that you were ok. When he came downstairs yesterday to tell me you were here, that was the first time I've seen any kind of light in his eyes for over a year. You hurt him. So bad. But he would take you back in an instant if you explained everything to him. He's not a monster, and he'll understand, i promise you. He knows what it's like to be at war with your own head." He finished as he dropped into the armchair opposite us. Just then the front door swung open and Mikey walked into the room, followed by Frank. Mikey's eyes lit up as they landed on Pete and he all but skipped over to him. Frank met my eyes for a brief moment, and then he turned to Gerard. "Gee I'm gonna crash on the couch in your room. Cool?" He asked quietly. "Yeah Frankie. I'm coming down too. Night you guys." Gerard answered as he heaved himself out of his chair. He nodded to me with a small smile on his face as he walked out the door and headed to the basement stairs.  
***  
I wandered around for two hours before i realized i had nowhere to go. I could probably call Gerard. And he'd probably take me in, at least until he heard from Frank. Mikey and Pete both lived in the dorms so there was no way they could take me in. And my little Toyota was at home sitting in my parents driveway, because who needed a car in New York. I stepped into an all night diner, and looked towards the back of the room, hoping to spot a pay phone. Maybe someone was looking out for me, because there was one, nestled between the restrooms. I checked my pockets and came up with a few dollars in change. I made my way to the phone, and dialed the one person that I knew would help me. There was a distant click of the phone being picked up after two rings, then the voice of my childhood came over the phone "Hello?". "Mom." I choked out. "Evie? What's wrong? Baby, what happened?" She asked, her voice rising in fright. "Mom, i need to come home. Can you wire me some money so i can rent a car?" I asked with my voice shaking with emotion. "Of course baby, but what happened? Where's Frank? Is he coming too?" She replied somewhat calmer. "No mom. Just me." I said as i turned to face the front of the restaurant. As i gazed out the window, the rain began to fall.  
***  
We had been at Gerard's house for eight days before we finally decided to try to make it to Ray, and Boulder. Mikey, Pete and Frank had ventured down the street to Patrick and Joe's house to convince them to join us. I was currently sitting at the kitchen table with Gerard, trying to convince him to let me make a trip to the convenience store a few blocks away to get supplies. "Gee. It's literally two blocks away. You can stand on the front porch and watch me like a mom on her kids first day of kindergarten. I'll be fine" i said for what felt like the hundredth time. "River." He sighed "if i let anything happen to you, Pete would literally rip off my dick. And then Mikey would murder Pete for hurting me, and then himself for murdering Pete. That is some Hamlet shit that i am not in the mood for." He said lighting the cigarette he'd been waving around wildly. "Gerard. Listen to me. I'll. Be. Fine. And if i go now, that's time we save in the long run. That means we can leave sooner." I finished with a sly smile. He groaned and dropped his head to the table top. "FINE! But you take a walkie talkie. And you stay in contact with me at all times." He grumbled into the table. I shook a cigarette out of his pack, and brought it to my lips with a smirk. At the sound of the lighter sparking he jerked his head up and glared at me "and bring me some more smokes you fucking mooch!!!" He growled out as he grabbed the pack off the table and shoved then into his pants pocket.  
***  
I lay in my childhood bed, staring out the large windows across the room. I couldn't see anything through the pounding rain except the dim, grey outlines of the trees crowding the backyard. I heard timid taps on the bedroom door that could only belong to my mom. "Ev? Baby?" She asked, entering the room when i didn't answer. The only thing i did in response was close my eyes hoping she'd assume i was asleep. I heard her round the bed and let out a sigh when she saw me lying there. "Ok listen Evie. I've been patient. I've left you alone. I've chased Pete away when he's shown up at the door. I've lied to everyone and told them i haven't seen you. But no more. It's been three weeks, and you haven't done anything but lay in bed. You haven't eaten, you've stopped taking your medication, and i love you baby, but you really need to shower." She ended as she moved the comforter away to perch on the edge of the bed. I finally opened my eyes and was shocked at how awful she looked, dark circles ringing her eyes. "You look like shit." I croaked out, my voice rusty from disuse. She snorted out a laugh, "you're one to talk princess." She said pushing my bangs back from my forehead. "Baby, this has to stop. I don't know what happened, but you can't just stop living. You don't have to talk about it, but i won't allow you to lay here and give up on life." She finished, looking down at me with sorrow filling her expression. "Ok." I whispered. Her face lit up as she smiled. "Excellent. Now you go take a shower, I'll take care of the wasteland you've been laying in. Then I'll make us some soup ok?" she said standing up and pushing my blankets of my bed. I sat up and watched her leave the room, talking to herself about laundry detergent, and fabric softener. I felt my mouth curve into a tiny smile for the first time in weeks and i heaved myself out of my bed, rummaged around for some clothes and walked to the bathroom. Maybe it would be ok.  
***  
I stood in front of a small display of instant oatmeal trying to decide on banana or strawberry. "What the hell. Just take both." I said to myself, mostly just to break the silence. I dropped both boxes into the oversized duffle bag at my feet. I continued to make my way down the aisle adding cans of tuna fish, condensed soup, boxes of macaroni and cheese and the ever popular spaghetti and meatballs. I stood at the end of the aisle eyeing cases of bottled water. "Shit. I probably should have brought a wheel barrel or something." I shrugged my shoulders as i knelt down to zip up the bag. I lugged the overstuffed bag out the door and left it outside the entrance. I glanced up, and sure enough there was Gerard leaning against the porch railing smoking a cigarette. I shook my head and raised my hand to send him a wave as i heard the crackle of my radio. "Would you hurry the fuck up moon beam. I'd like you back before Pete finds out i let you go alone." His voice sounded tiny coming from the walkie's speaker. "You know damn well my name's not moon beam Gee. I'll be back soon. I'm just gonna go grab your smokes and see what i can find in the pharmacy." I said as i turned around to re-enter the store. "Ok Riv. Just please hurry." He tried to sound nonchalant, but i could hear the tension behind it. "Yes sir. Now leave me alone." I replied and dropped the walkie talkie back into my pocket of my hoodie. I slowly picked my way towards the back of the store, stopping to grab two cartons of Gee's cigarettes. Fuck it, i thought, grabbing the remaining three cartons as well. I threw the strap of my tote bag back over my shoulder after i stuff them inside and continued towards the pharmacy section of the store. After grabbing assorted pain relievers, and stomach medicine (trying not to think about the person that would most likely be using them) I spotted the door that led to the actual pharmacy. The shade of partially pulled down over the service window, mostly obscuring the view into the room behind. Well i might as well see if there's anything useful back there i reasoned as a strode towards the door, not paying any attention to the faint dragging sounds coming from behind me. The door knob turned easily in my hand, but when i pushed it it stopped after a few inches. Clearly there was something blocking the door. "Shit" i said to myself "Oh well" i turned around and felt all the air leave my lungs. About twenty feet from me four mist men were steadily creeping forward. "Oh fuck." I breathed. I started pushing against the door with all my might. I reached into my pocket and brought my radio to my mouth. I clicked the button on and said "Gee. Fuck. I need help". "River what's happening" he asked. "Mist men. Four of them. I'm trapped." I blurted out as i continued to strain against the door. I felt it shift a little as i kept pushing, watching as the creatures advanced towards me. "What the fuck!! I fucking knew this was gonna happen!" He yelled into the speaker. I heard yelling behind his voice but couldn’t focus on it as i felt the door give way and i tumbled into the room behind. I leapt up, forcing the door mostly shut, throwing my body against it as i felt an immense weight hit the other side. I gazed around the room looking for anything the i could use as a weapon. Besides an overturned table that had been pushed across the room when I fell through the door and shelf after shelf of pill bottles the room was disappointingly empty. As i struggled to keep the door shut I brought the radio back up, trying to speak over the noises the mist men were now making "Gee. I think I'm fucked. I can't hold the door shut, and there's nothing in here to fight them off with. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. Please tell Pete I'm sorry. And...... and tell Frank i love him. That i never stopped loving him. And that I’m sorry. So fucking sorry…..." I finished with a sob. I heard Gerard start to reply but an especially hard push caused me to drop the walkie talkie, the batteries popping out as it hit the floor. I stumbled across the room, barely keeping my feet. I turned around, raising my hand in an attempt the defend myself. I stumbled back a few paces as i came face to face with a monster. It didn't look anything like the mist men we encountered just a few weeks ago. It's skin was dry and cracked, it's eyes a milky white from a lack of moisture. Clearly Gerard was right when he said the lack of humidity was affecting the mist men. I doubt I'll get to tell him he's right. As that thought raced through my head, the advancing creature lunged at me. I tripped over my feet, and crashed to the ground with the monster looming over me, and cracking my head on the concert floor. A blinding pain ripped through my left shoulder and i struggled to keep the creature at bay. I knew it was useless, as i lost the strength in my injured arm and the world started to go black. In my last moments of consciousness i thought i heard someone yelling my name. And then everything went dark.  
***  
"You better fucking save her!"  
***  
"Oh God no! Riv please....come back"  
***  
"River please wake up. I love you"  
***  
The first thing i realized as i swam back into reality was a very subtle rocking. It was almost soothing. Next i heard the muttering of quiet conversation. I cracked open my eyes and looked at the corrugated steel that seemed to make up the ceiling several feet above my head. I turned my head and realized i was lying on an air mattress in the back of what seemed to be a cargo van. As my eyes grew accustomed to the dim light i recognized the huddled shape of Pete not far too my right. He was bundled up in several blankets and was clearly sleep. I tried to shift my body to sit up, and let out a gasp as a bolt of pain rocketed through my body. "Hey, hey you'll need to take it easy for a while." a soft voice spoke from over my left shoulder. I tilted my head back to gaze upside down into a pair of thick black glasses, that framed the prettiest pair of blue eyes i had ever seen. "You've been through a hell of a lot in the last couple of days. Here, drink some of this. And let me get you some pain meds, before you really start to feel it" He said as he eased a straw through my parted lips. I took a sip and then greedily drank deeply once the sweet cold water landed on my tongue. "Easy. Not too much. You don't wanna puke it back up" he chuckled softly as he withdrew the straw and set the bottle aside. "Who are you? Where are we? What happened?" All the questions swirling around my head tumbled out of my mouth once my thirst was sated and I watched him dig through a collection of orange prescription bottles. I fixed him in my gaze and lifted my hand to push my bangs out if my eyes. A faint tug on my hands drew my eyes downward towards the IV i now saw i was attached to. I stretched my neck to look back and saw a fluid bag hanging over my shoulder. The man shuffled around the side of my makeshift bed, and handed me a small white pill, which I popped in my mouth and swallowed down with another sip from the water bottle. He smiled sweetly down at me as he adjusted his trucker cap over his longish sandy hair. He picked up my wrist and looked at his watch obviously checking my pulse. I noticed he barely had to stoop in order to move around the van, so he must have been tiny. But from my vantage point flat on my back he towered over me. "Well, I'm Patrick. And the handsome man driving this beast is the love of my life, Joe." He told me as he nodded towards the front of the van and set my hand back down at my side. "Oh. You're the guys that live down the street." I said as i remembered the boys had gone to talk to them. "Yep. We were on our way to Gerard's house when he ran outside, freaking out, with the walkie talkie in his hand. We hardly got him the tell us what was going on, before Frank and Pete all but stormed into the store to get you. From what i understand Frank just made it to you before........ well you know. He found you covered in blood, unconscious with a mist man drooling on you" He replied as he pulled the blanket covering me down and started to check the bandage i just noticed covered the majority of my left side. "Oh." I didn't wanted to think about that right now. "No offense, but do you have any idea what you're doing?" He let out a brief musical laugh. "I'll have you know I'm the chief surgeon at the local hospital" he stuck his tongue out at me as his eyes twinkled with amusement "a fact that worked out quite well for you, considering the mess you were when they got you out." He finished as he re-fastened the bandages. "I'm probably going to regret asking this, but how bad did i fuck myself up?" I asked as i closed my eyes. "Well, you had a pretty good concussion, minor scrapes and abrasions, but that was nothing compared to what you did to you shoulder." I opened my eyes as he started shining a flashlight into them. "Lay it on my doc." I said, following the light with my eyes. "Well, when the mist man crashed into the room and attacked you, you managed to fall on the one item in the room that had the slightest potential to be dangerous." He clicked the light off and sat back, leaving against the side of the van. I thought back to that room. All that was in there was medicine and "the overturned table." I said rolling my eyes. "Bingo. Not only did you fall onto it, the leg went through your shoulder. Luckily it missed everything vital. It bled like a bitch, but once we got you stitched up you were golden." He finished with a smile. "What do you mean we? You didn't let one of those idiots help you did you! They’d probably leave something inside me!" I had begun to feel drowsy again. Patrick snorted out a laugh "No. Joe was an army medic. He's real handy to have around. And i promise you nothing was left inside you." Everything was starting to get fuzzy, and it was getting harder to keep my eyes open. "Go back to sleep moon beam. Rest is what you need now" his voice came from far away. "What the fuck! They got to you too??" I slurred out, suddenly drunk with tiredness. And then i was gone again.  
***  
The next time i surfaced it was to the scratch of a pen on paper. I turned my head to the side as saw Pete hunched over a battered notebook, with a flashlight tucked under his chin and the light focussed on the paper. His tongue was poking out between his teeth as he scribbled madly onto the page. It was a comforting picture i had seen many time. Suddenly his eyes shifted and meet mine. His mouth dropped open, the flashlight fell from its perch and rolled across the floor. "Hey." My voice sounding way too loud in the quiet. Pete sat completely still for a brief moment and then launched himself at me. I let out a yelp as his weight landed on my bad shoulder. "Peter!" I heard Patrick yell from the front seat. "You pop those stitches and I'll exile you to the jeep with the others!" It was quite obvious that Pete wasn't listening as he started raining kisses on my cheeks and forehead. "River. Please don't ever do that to me again. If something happened to you, i couldn't go on. I'm sorry i wasn't there. I'm sorry you got hurt." Pete babbled as he began to cry. I placed my right hand in the center of his chest, and pushed him back enough to meet his eyes. "Pete. I'm ok. I'm stupid. I made a mistake. But I'm ok." I told him watching tears roll down his cheeks. "Now tell me what's going on." I said changing the subject. " Well this is Patrick and Joe's van. They're the ones who fixed you up, but i think Patrick said he told you that already. We're on our way to meet Ray. It seems the few mist men that attacked you were just the start. By that afternoon they were everywhere. And they’re…..different now Riv. Not as fast, and they seem disoriented? Gee’s right. The lack of fog is affecting them. So anyway, we grabbed our stuff and split. There was no way i was gonna leave you in here alone, so i let Gerard drive the jeep. And Mikey's riding with him to keep Frank in check. " he answered as he settled down next to me. "Pete, please don't blame Gerard for this. You know how i get when i set my mind to something. He couldn't have stopped me and you know it." I begged, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "I know Riv. I'm not gonna lie. At first i was so mad at him i couldn't see straight. But I've had time to calm down. Frank on the other hand....." He replied squeezing my hand in return. "What do you mean time to calm down. And about Frank?" I asked settling back into the pillows behind me. "River, You've been out for six days. At first we weren't even sure you were going to wake up" he said, his voice barely above a whisper "You hit your head really hard River." "Good thing i have a hard head huh?" I said trying to lighten the mood. He chuckled and shook his head. "And Frank. Riv, I've never seen him like that. When i found you guys in that back room, i didn't know what to do. You were laying on the floor, covered in blood, and Frank was kneeling next to you with his face pressed to you neck, just sobbing. I've never seen something so heartbreaking in my life. When i came close to try to get you out, he punched me. He wouldn't let you go until i finally forced him to understand i was just trying to help, and that we needed to get you out.. He didn't leave your side the entire time Patrick and Joe were working on you. They finally had to force him out and into the jeep when he wouldn't stay out of their way. That ended up with Joe getting a black eye, and Frank a busted lip. Mikey says he hasn't said a word to anyone since." Vague fuzzy memories of Frank yelling and crying floated into my head. I shook them away. I'd deal with that later. "So where are we now?" I changed the subject and was relieved when Pete let it go after a brief pause. "Half way through Ohio. Ray told us about this thing. It's kinda like the underground railroad, but for survivors." He said, his eyes lighting up with childlike glee "There are safe houses along the route to Boulder. They will have something yellow hanging in the front yard. A blanket. A flag. A sheet. Anything that's visible from the road. That means the house is safe. They usually have a small store of food, and generators too. Right now we're looking for one so we can get out of the cars for a while." He finished. I could tell how in love with the idea Pete was. "Why don't you lay back down and try to sleep a little more" he said, his eyes softening as he met mine. "Pete I've been sleeping for six days." I argued even as i was settling back down onto the bed. "Fine. But you get up here and snuggle with me. I bet you haven't slept well in days." " You know I'd never pass up cuddling with you River" he said with a smile as he lay on the bed with me. "I love you Pete." I sighed as our fingers tangled automatically together, my eyes closing. "I love you too Riv" Pete replied, planting a kiss on my forehead and then settling down beside me. I fell asleep again with a slight smile on my face.  
***  
I felt the van rock violently before coming to a complete stop. My eyes popped open as i attempted to sit up. Unfortunately i had forgotten how Pete turns into an octopus when he sleeps. I dropped my head back onto the pillow as i tried to figure out how to free myself from his grip. Suddenly the back doors of the van swung open, and i had to squint at the bright light that assaulted my sight. I raised my good hand to shield my eyes as a soft voice spoke to me. "Hey! You're awake! Great!" I noted a slight lisp as the stranger hopped up into the back of the van. He had a mass of curly brown hair haloing his head, and sleeves of tattoos adorning both arms. "I'm Joe. I thought you might wanna get out stretch your legs. If you can wiggle out from under the parasite that seems to have attached itself to you that is." He laughed gesturing to Pete. I looked down at Pete. It seemed a shame to wake him from what was most likely the best sleep he'd had in nearly a week. But the prospect of getting up was too tempting. "Pssssst Pete. You gotta get up" i began softly threading my hand through his hair hoping i could wake him peacefully. It took Pete forever to fall asleep, but once he's there he's out like a light. I cringed internally, knowing what i was going to have to do. I stuck my finger in my mouth, getting it nice and wet, and then jammed it in his exposed ear twisting it around. The effect was almost instantaneous. Pete jumped up, bringing his hand up to rub his ear trying to get rid of the feeling of my wet finger. "Jesus fuck River!!! What are you like twelve!" He yelled at me with a look of disgust on his face. "Well i tried to be nice, but to wouldn't wake up, and I'd really like to get out of this van, and stretch my legs" i flashed him my most innocent face. "Ugh" he answered, "i hate you. See you outside" i can feel his smile as he drops a kiss on the top of my head and hops out of the back of the van, patting Joe on the shoulder on his way past. "Well. Lets get that IV out and get you up and moving shall we" Joe said as he walked over to me, stooped over to keep his head from hitting the roof. He flashed me a bright smile as he knelt down next to me. He reached for my hand and carefully began peeling back the tape holding the needle in my skin. He withdrew the needle and placed a bandaid over the puncture. "I know Trick already check your vitals, but humor me" he said as he turned to toss the used needle in an orange bin. He pulled a small flashlight out of his pocket and clicked it on "follow the light for me k?" He said swinging the light back and forth. I watched the light move and said "how long have you and Patrick known each other?" He turned off the light, and pulled a thermometer out of his shirt pocket and handed it to me, motioning for me to place it in my mouth. "Since grade school. Some kid made fun of my lisp, and Patrick punch him in the face" he chuckled and shook his head "i knew then i needed him in my life forever." The thermometer beeped and i took it out of my mouth and handed it to him. As he glanced at it i said "are you guys from Jersey too?". He put the thermometer back in his pocket and met my eye with a soft smile on his face. "Nah. We're Chicago boys. After high school i joined the army, cause i knew it was the only way i could afford college. I fully expected him to have moved on when i got out, but i wasn't back home for two days and he showed up at my door and..... just never left. When he was offered residency at the hospital in Jersey he told me he didn't expect me to leave my whole life to follow him halfway across the country. I told him he was my whole life" he finished, his bright blue eyes glazed with memories. "Well anyway, i bet your eager to stretch those legs huh? Come on, let's go explore" he smiled at me again and held his hand out to help me up, handing me a button up shirt so I didn’t have to go out in just my sports bra. I shrugged it awkwardly on, trying not to move my shoulder too much, and hastily buttoned it up. We exited the van together, raising a hand to shield our eyes from the bright sunlight.  
***  
I blinked several times, gazing at my surroundings. We had pulled off onto the gravel shoulder that ran along both sides of the road. Beyond the gravel was a broken down wooden fence surrounding a vast field filled with knee high grass. In the distance i could see a line of trees obscuring what looked like a large building. On one of the fence posts sat Patrick with a beat up guitar on his lap. His trucker cap was pulled low on his brow, but i could tell he had his eyes shut as he began to strum the instrument. As i drifted closer to him he began to sing in a warm, rich voice. "It's a God-awful small affair. To the girl with the mousy hair. But her mummy is yelling no. And her daddy has told her to go...." I cringed as i stepped on a rather large rock and stumbled forward, interrupting Patrick's singing and causing him to jerk his head up. He shot me a small embarrassed smile as he set the guitar to the side. "Sorry. I didn't know you guys would be out so soon. How are you feeling?" He asked, raising a hand to rub nervously at the back of his neck. "Dude! You're amazing! And Bowie? Excellent choice man" i exclaimed, throwing my right hand up in the air. Patrick's cheeks tinted pink as he pulled his hat up to scratch his head, clearly uncomfortable at the praise. "Uh, thanks. Joe plays better than me though." Joe chose that moment to saunter up beside Patrick, and pressed a kiss to his red cheek. "Babe. You're awesome. And your voice is the stuff dreams are made of. Just take the compliment." He said resting his chin on Patrick's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around him from behind. Patrick ducked his head but it failed to hide the small smile that bloomed on his face, his round cheeks flushing with pleasure. "Umm so yeah. How are you feeling River? How's the shoulder?" Patrick said changing the subject. "Well it hurts like hell. And I'm really fucking thirsty. But it feels amazing to be vertical. Where are we? And where's everyone else?" I replied glancing around. I didn't see Pete's jeep anywhere. Or Pete for that matter. "Indiana. I think. I'm pretty sure Pete wandered off to take a piss, and everyone else is over at the house, making sure it's safe." Patrick said, jerking his chin towards the clump of trees I'd noticed, and what i realized is a house. I heard the crunch of gravel behind me and spun around, to be greeted by the blinding grin of my best friend. He held out his arms, and closed them tightly around me when i stepped into them. "Riv. I'm so glad you're up and moving around" he whispered into my ear. I stood for a second with my forehead resting on his shoulder, just breathing in his familiar scent. "Me too Pete" i whispered back. I stiffened as I heard tires on the gravel behind me, and stayed with my head buried in Pete's chest, afraid of who I'd see if i turned around. "It's just Gee." Pete said grasping my shoulders, and turning me around. Suddenly i was surrounded by a blanket of Gerard. I breathed in the smell of cigarette smoke, mint gum, and something i can only describe as Gerard. It took a moment for me to realize he was shaking, and that was neck was damp where he had buried his face. I awkwardly brought on hand up to rub the small of his back, and the other to card through his hair. "Hey. What's wrong Gee? What's up?" I asked him in what i hoped was a soothing voice. Gerard first attempt to answer me was muffled by my shirt, so i pushed on his chest until i could see his face "let's try that again" i said running my thumb under his right eye to catch the tear that threatened to fall. "River. I am so sorry. I don't know what I would have done if you'd been hurt worse. And oh my god, what if you'd di......" I placed my hand over his mouth to stop the flood of unnecessary words. "Gee. It wasn't your fault. You know I'm gonna do whatever i want to do, and nothing anyone says is going to change that. I'm ok." I finished with a smile. I could tell he wanted to say more, but i pulled him into a hug before he could open his mouth. I have him one last squeeze, and then moved back to look at him. "Now, where's Mikey and..... the others" i stumbled over my words, not wanting to say his name out loud. Gerard sniffed "back at the house. I came to tell everyone it's safe." He said, his voice sounding stronger. "Alright" i said, twinning our fingers together a yanking him towards the jeep "then let's go" i climbed into the passenger seat, buckled my seat belt and looked up. "Well. What are you waiting for? Let's go". Everyone seemed to snap out of their daze, and moved towards either the van or jeep. Gerard hopped over the side into the back seat, while Pete climbed behind the wheel. He smiled as he ran his hands over the steering wheel. "Hi baby. Did your miss me" he said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and flicked him in the ear "let's go you dork" i said affectionately. Pete stuck his tongue out at me and started the car pulling back onto the road.  
***  
As soon as Pete brought the jeep to a stop in front of the sprawling farmhouse, he leapt from his seat and bound up the porch steps and threw his arms around Mikey like he hadn't seen him in days. And then i realized he probably hadn't considering, as far as i knew, he hadn't left my side since we'd left Jersey. I watched him reach up and twine his hands in Mikeys too long hair and pull his face to kiss him. I unfolded myself from my seat as Patrick and Joe pulled up in the van. I caught Gerard's eye as we both exited the car. He pretended to gag as he averted his eyes away from Pete practically trying to eat his brothers face. I laughed at his look of disgust. The smile died on my lips as i caught sight of movement in the doorway behind Mikey. I tensed up for a moment, and then relaxed as I recognized the shadowed face. I saw him freeze as our gazes met, then he melted back into the darkness of the house. I caught Gerard's hand as he tried to amble past me. "Gee. Is he.....?" I started still staring at the space that Frank previously filled. "No Riv. He's a mess. He….he heard what you said on the walkie and realized what was happening and it was like all the light drained from his eyes. He loves you. But he's still so hurt by what you did. When he heard you were in trouble he lost it. I've never seen him like that. And when Patrick was working on you, when we didn't know if you'd........... it was like after you disappeared. Something in him broke. Shattered. Into a billion pieces. River, please. Don't force him. Let him come to you. I promise you, he will." He squeezed my hand, then let go and started up the porch steps. I followed him up as Pete finally untangled himself from Mikey. "Ok. So there are four bedrooms. Two downstairs, and two upstairs." Mikey started slightly breathless from the Pete attack he'd just encountered "River gets a room to herself since she's such a delicate lady" i flipped him the bird, as he giggled and continued "Patrick and Joe get one, and me and Pete obviously which leaves Gee and Frank rooming together" he finished as we all moved into the cool interior of the home. "We'd like to stay at least a couple of days before we move on, to make sure Rivers shoulder heals well" Patrick says turning to me "which reminds me, we need to change the bandages." " Ok cool. " i say moving towards the stairs "i call a room upstairs, As physically far away from those two as possible" i finish motioning towards Pete who appeared to be trying to climb up Mikey. "Gross." Gerard said following me "i call the other room upstairs." I heard Patrick exit the house, presumably to get his supplies, As Gerard and i came to the top of the stairs. There was a short hallway with three open doors. Gerard peeked around the frame of the first room and threw me a smile before he walked in. I heard the deep rumble of conversation as he shut the door. I took a deep breath, and walked past the middle room, which was clearly a bathroom, and stopped at the door of the third room. I saw my bag lying on the bed. "I brought it up before Gee took the jeep back to get you guys" spoke a voice behind me. I let out a squeak and spun around coming face to face with Mikey. "Fucking hell Mikes. I'm gonna put a bell around your neck you fucking ninja" i gasped, pressing a hand to my chest to try to slow my racing heart. I lightly punched his shoulder as he smirked at me. "You might wanna lay off the caffeine moon beam, you're really fucking jumpy". I saw Patrick walk up behind him and I pushed him out of the way. "Get out of here Mikey, unless you wanna see me take off my shirt" i said, raising an eyebrow as i started tugging on the hem of my shirt. His face fell into a grimace "gross boobs" he replied backing back down the hall. Patrick chuckled as he took the newly vacated spot, "Ok. Let’s take a look at that shoulder." I clumsily unbuttoned and removed my shirt, trying not to move my shoulder too much and sat on the bed in my sports bra as Patrick set down his bag. He took a pair of scissors and began to cut away the tape holding down the bandages. As he lifted away the last of them I glanced down to survey the damage. I hissed at the amount of stitches i saw and quickly looked up at Patrick. "So, you and Joe huh?" I said trying to distract himself. "Yep" he answered with a grin "ever since grade school." I laughed when i remembered what Joe said about Patrick punching a kid who made fun of him. "You guys seem really good together". "Can i ask you a question River" he asked while carefully inspecting my wound. "Dude. You pretty much saved my life. You need a kidney, i got you. Of course you can ask me a question" i said looking up at him. I saw him bite his lip and then his eyes shifted to meet mine. "Whats up with you and Frank" he must have seen the pain in my eyes because he quickly continued as he started spread some kind of ointment over the sutures "You don't have to answer if you don’t want to. It's just, I've been a doctor for a while, and I've seen a lot of grieving people. But I can count on one hand the number of people I have seen react the way Frank did to someone being injured. We had to literally pry him off of Joe when he was trying to keep Frank back so i could work on you. Now I've only known Frank for a short time, but i can tell you with absolute certainty, that if you hadn't made it Frank wouldn't have made either." He finished as he began re-wrapping my wound. I swallowed thickly, trying to decide how to answer his question. "Like i said, you don't have to answer. I just thought you should know how it was. Now what's your pain level?" I looked up and blinked stupidly at him at the abrupt change of subject. "Ummmm i could really go for some pain meds if you have some" i replied casting my gaze once again to my lap. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye as he reached into his bag again, pulling out a orange prescription bottle. He opened it and shook out a white pill and handed it to me. "Take this. It'll probably make you sleepy so you should probably lay down afterwards. I'll go get you some water" i nodded as i watched him leave the room. I carefully shrugged back into my t-shirt, pulled back the covers on the bed. I yanked my jeans off, tossed them on top of my bag, and climbed under the blanket. Patrick walked back in with a glass of water as i wiggled around, trying to get comfortable. I popped the pill into my mouth as he handed me the water, and drained the glass in one go. I handed it back to him, and sank back into the pillows with a sigh. Patrick pushed my bangs back off my forehead, and placed a gentle kiss there. "Rest up moon beam" he whispered. He was softly shutting the door when i realized what he called me, and i rolled my eyes. I turned into my side and stared out the window, finally letting my thoughts fill my mind.  
***  
I stomped up the stairs to the front porch. It had finally stopped raining, but the humidity was becoming oppressive. The moisture in the air caused my hair to stick to my forehead, and made it difficult to breath. I had been wandering around town for a few hours looking for any sign of life. People had started disappearing shortly after the power failed, and now Aurora felt like a ghost town. I shifted my backpack on my shoulder as i reached for the front door "Mom, it looks like....." The words died on my lips when i realized the door was already open. I stood staring at the black space between the door and the frame. "I'm sure it fine", i told myself "they probably just forgot to shut it." Except my parents preached to me constantly about keeping the house safe since people started going missing. My hand shook slightly as i reached out and pushed the door open. "Mom? Dad?" I called into the darkness. Silence was the only answer. I took a few tentative steps into the entryway "Mom?" I reached into my pocket for the small flashlight i had taken to carrying and clicked it on. I gasped at the sight of the disaster in the living room. The couch was overturned. The coffee table in splinters near the wall. I swung the pale circle of light around taking in the mess, and abruptly stopped when i caught sight of a small puddle of blood on the wood floor. "No." I whispered to myself. "No. No no no no." I didn't realize i had started screaming until i heard the thump of footsteps racing up the front stairs. "River?!" I heard Pete yell as he burst through the front door. "River! What the fuck are you yelling about?" He came to an abrupt stop when he spotted the blood illuminated by my flashlight. "Fuck" he breathed. He looked around as if he expected my parents to suddenly pop up from behind the couch. "River. Come on. Come back to my house. It's not safe here." He said still glancing around while wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I couldn't stop staring at the blood staining the floor. "It'll be ok Riv. Come on, we just gotta get somewhere safe, and then we'll figure this out. We'll find them." His words started to blend together as he led me back out of the house. The static in my head began to take over as i realized I'd most likely never see my parents again.  
***  
It was dark when i woke up, except for the lit candles that someone has placed around the room. In one corner of the room Gerard was curled up in a recliner, and appeared to be sketching on a pad of paper. Pete was sprawled out on the bed next to me, snoring softly. "Ya know, for as many rooms as there are in this place, i don't understand why everyone is camped out in here." I said nudging Pete softly with my foot. Gee looked up with a smile "what can we say Riv. Your company is captivating." He replied setting his sketch pad on the floor next to him, and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Pete groaned next to me, and turned over mumbling into the pillow. "Uh huh. Especially when I'm sleeping huh?" I asked with a smirk. "Oh, that's when you're the best company" Mikey said walking into the room carrying a steaming bowl, a water bottle under his arm. "Fuck you too Mikey" i replied with a grin as he walked to the side of the bed, set the bowl down on the nightstand, handed me the water bottle, and then dropped down next to me on the bed. "Patrick says to need to eat something if you want anymore drugs" Mikey says nodding to the bowl of what i could now see was soup. "Uhhhh you didn't make that did you Mikes, cause i love you dude, but I've already had a really bad week" i asked leaning forward to get a better look at the contents of the bowl. "I'll have you know i am quite adept at heating up canned soup you dick" he said, flicking me on the nose "but to answer your question, no. Joe made it." " Oh good. " i smiled grabbing the bowl and started spooning it into my mouth. "So why are you guys really in here?" I asked between mouthfuls. Mikey leaned over my legs and started to run his fingers through Pete's hair. "Can't we just like your company?" He replied while looking down at Pete with heart eyes. I kicked his leg to get his attention, and held his gaze when he looked up. "Mikes. Why are you guys in here?" I asked trying to convey that it was a serious question. "Ok listen River. You scared us. Like a mega fuckin lot. So sue us if we want to be around you to make sure you're ok. We just....... we just need to be near you ok?" He finished, lowering his eyes to his still sleeping boyfriend. I set the now empty bowl to the side as Gerard got up from his seat, and sunk to his knees on the floor next to the side of the bed. "Riv i know we already talked about this, so i swear I'll keep it brief. I was so scared when you called out for help over the walkie. We were all scared. And…… and when Frank carried you out of the store, covered in blood and unconscious, it was probably one of the most terrifying moments of my life, of all our lives. So yeah, we need to be near you. We need to know you're alright." He grabbed my hand and when i met his eyes i saw unshed tears threatening to fall. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. "Gee i swear. I'm ok. But if creepily hanging out in my room while i sleep makes you feel better, then by all means, creep away" i said with a smile and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Oh moon beam, you have such a way with words" Mikey said throwing himself backwards onto the bed so he was lying on top of my legs and the majority of Pete. "Michael. For the ten millionth time. My middle name is not moon beam"i sighed heavily. "Then just tell me River! Come on! What if you'd died and you never told me?! I need to know!" Mikey pleaded giving me some serious puppy dog eyes. "It's Evangeline." All our eyes shifted to the open door. Frank stepped into the room, meeting my eyes and continued "that's why her mom always calls her Ev or Evie. But no one else is allowed to call her that, because it was her grandma's name. And she never really got over her death. And it hurts her too much." He finished, never breaking our eye contact. "Umm. Mikes do you wanna....?" Gerard started "Yeah totally. We'll just, yeah." Mikey finished. He reached over and shook Pete awake, yanking him out of the bed and out the door with Gerard following closely behind him. As the door clicked shut Frank took a hesitant step forward. "Hi" he whispered, raising a hand in a small wave. "Hey." I replied. "River, listen. Just let me get through this and then I'm gone if that's what you want." He perched on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath. "I don't know what happened, or what i did. All i know is that the last eighteen or so months have been the worst of my life. I can't count the number of times i wanted to just give up. I felt like i had nothing left to live for. And then you came back. And it hurt so damn much. It was like my heart was ripped out for the second time, but at the same time it was like all the color came back into my world. And then you.......... you got hurt, and i...... I just lost it. River if something happened to you....... I can't live in a world without you in it. So, i understand if you don't want me anymore, but" i didn't let him finish. Instead i awkwardly crawled to the end of the bed, gripped the back of his head and gently brought his mouth to mine. The kiss only lasted a moment before i pulled back, and leaned my forehead against his. It was too much. Too many emotions swirled in my head. "Frank. Will you please just lay with me. Just hold me for tonight. I promise we'll talk in the morning, but for right now, just, please." I pleaded softly as i felt tears begin to fall. I felt him exhale and then nod. "Yeah ok. But we need to talk in the morning" He replied. I scooted back on the bed and lay back down. I watched him blow out most of the candles, leaving just one near the door burning. My breath caught in my lungs as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. He had a lot more tattoos than i remembered. His eyes met mine as his hand dropped to his zipper. "Oh. I can just...." " No it's fine. You have to be comfortable to sleep" i replied. I heard him kick off his shoes and jeans as I turned over onto my right side, and felt the bed dip behind me. Frank laid down and I could feel him hesitating behind me. I took a deep breath and scooted back so my back was pressed to his chest. I reached behind my to grasp his arm and wrapped it around my waist. "Please. Just for tonight" i whispered. I felt his warm breath I the back of my neck. "Ok. Sleep well River." As i drifted off again, i could swear i felt him press a kiss to my shoulder.  
***  
I sat in the tub in Pete's bathroom, mostly because it was the only room that had a door lock. I looked down at the orange bottle I held in my hands, contemplating my options. I'd lost everything. My parents were gone. I'd stupidly run away from Frank. Pete would only leave if i gave him the chance, and then Mikey would have no reason to stick around. This was the answer. The only way. I pried open the lid of the bottle, and dumped the contents into my hand. Twelve pills. That along with the bottle of vodka I'd drank since Pete left should be enough. I rattled the pills around in my palm, thinking about what i was about to do. This would make everything better. Pete would have one less thing to worry about. My parents were already gone. And Frank..... well, surely he wouldn't care, if he even ever found out. With that thought i threw the pills into my mouth and swallowed them dry. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the edge of the tub, as tears started to slip down my cheeks. I'm not sure how long i laid there before I heard a distant knocking on the bathroom door. I lifted my head to the sound of Pete's voice. "Riv. Are you ok? River. River answer me!" I sighed and dropped my head back down as he started banging on the door after trying the knob and finding it locked. It would be over soon, i hoped. "River! Open the fucking door!" I could hear the desperation, and tears in his voice, but i couldn't convince myself to care. I heard Pete yelling for Mikey as he started to slam his shoulder against the door, trying to break it down. I slumped down, and curled my body into a tight ball, my shoulders shaking, as i sobbed. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. No, please. I'd made a mistake. I tried to call out for Pete as darkness danced around the edge of my vision. I dimly heard Pete break through the door as i slumped bonelessly further into the tub. Through the haze obscuring my eyes i saw him fall to his knees next to the bathtub. I knew he must have seen the empty prescription, and bottle of vodka when i heard him scream "No!! River please! Not again! Don’t do this to me again! Mikey get the fuck in here! River please i fucking need you. Don't leave me" Pete sobbed as he attempted to drag me out of the tub. I could faintly hear the thud of Mikey's footsteps as Pete tugged me over to the toilet, shoving my head towards the bowl. "Please River! Come on. Just get rid of it. Please i fucking need you with me. Please River" his voice cracking with emotion. I was terrified at the sight of him so desperate and somehow found the strength to shove my fingers down my throat, forcing myself the bring up the contents of my stomach. Pete held me as i vomited everything up. Once i finally stopped gagging, Pete pulled me back into his lap and wrapped his arms firmly around my waist. "River. Don't ever do that to me again. Please. I love you, please River, please" he sobbed into my ear as he rocked me back and forth. I tried to lift my hand to cradle his cheek, but i abruptly slipped into unconsciousness.  
***  
I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and a firm possessive hand on my lower stomach. I ached to stay in bed with Frank but regardless of my promise the night before, i knew i wasn't ready to answer his questions. I quietly slipped from under his grasp and out of the bed. I pulled on a pair of shorts from my bag before i left the room, softly closing the door behind me. I sighed and made my way downstairs. I found Patrick sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Hey kid" he said with a smile, gesturing towards the pot on the stove. "I have to be honest with you Trick. I prefer moon beam." I answered filling my mug and returning to the table to sit across from him. "Too late. You protested too much, and now I've moved on" he replied with a smirk. "I am actually glad to get you by yourself though. There's something I've wanted to talk to you about" he finished, reaching into his pocket. My breath caught in my throat as i saw him set a familiar orange prescription bottle on the table. "How long have you been off your medication River?" he asked me, looking me in the eye. "Only a few days. Pete gives me my dosage everyday, because i can't be trusted" i replied, raising my hand to emphasize the last part with air quotes, "i assume he's just forgotten with the craziness of the last few days though. Besides it’s not like i can go crazy while I’m essentially in a coma right?" He lifted an eyebrow at the bluntness of my answer. "And your ok with someone else keeping them"he asked carefully. I push my coffee mug to the side and clasped my hand in front of me sighing "Patrick, i know what i tried to do, and from the look on your face I’m assuming you do too. And until i can be sure it's not going to happen again, i think it's best that someone else hold on to those" i replied. "How long ago River?" It wasn't a specific question but i knew what he was asking me. "Almost two months ago" i said meeting his eye across the table. He nodded, "Ok. Last question. Is this the only time it's happened?" The memory of a blood splattered floor flashed through my head and i instinctively pulled my hand under the table and into my lap. “No.” I whispered looking down at the tabletop. “Ok. You don’t have to say anything else. But know, if you ever feel that way again, I want you to come talk to me. Or Pete. Or anyone. Just…….. just let us know how you’re feeling ok?” he asked reaching across the table to grasp my chin and lift my face so that I was looking him in the eye. “You got it doc.” I replied with a small smile on my face. I downed the rest of my coffee and stood up to place my mug in the sink. When I turned around I saw the familiar blue pill sitting on the table. I sighed and scooped it up, popping it my mouth and turning to get a drink from the sink. “well, if this friendly intergotation is over, I think I’m gonna go outside” I said, but added a smile to remove any bite from the statement. Patrick laughed “Yeah, just be careful”. I blew him a kiss as I scooped up what I assume were Gerards cigarettes and headed out the back door. 

 

***  
It was warm outside, but not stifling. I walked down the three porch steps and stepped lightly onto the overgrown grass of the back yard. I paused for a moment, listening to the silence and taking a deep breath. I glanced around the large yard, taking in the large oak trees and what I thought might be a small garden in the farm corner. All I wanted was a few moments of peace. I stomped across the yard, stopping suddenly and throwing myself down onto the ground. I huffed out a breath as I flopped back into grass and stared up at the blue sky. It was still so weird to be able to see the sun and sky. I’m sure I’d get used to it evidently and start taking it for granted again, but for right now it was nice to simply lay on the soft grass and take it all in. I shook a cigarette out of the crumpled pack and brought it my lips, groaning as I realized that I had neglected to grab a lighter when I came outside. Suddenly a lighter was tossed into the grass at my side.“That’s the second time I’ve woken up to a broken promise from you River” I tried to ignore the hurt in his voice as I reached down to grasp the plastic lighter. “Frank listen. I know we need to talk. But please. I just need a little more time to get my head straight.” I replied placing the cigarette back between my lips. “You’ve had the better part of two fucking years River. You can’t just keep ignoring me. Ignoring the fact that you left me, and I had no idea what happened. No one could find you. No one knew anything, and I was…….. I was terrified River. One minute everything was perfect and then…….. you were just gone.” He had started to pace back and forth in front of me, getting more and more upset. “You could have been dead River. When I woke up to an empty bed and that lame fucking note…… you shattered me River. Into a million fucking pieces” He abruptly stopped his pacing, dropping his head to stare at the ground, his shoulders sagging. “I just want to know why River.” The pain was so sharp in his voice that I wanted to jump up and comfort him. I opened my mouth to respond to him when the back door of the house swung open with a bang. We both jumped and turned to look at the porch to see Gerard standing just outside the door looking sheepish. “Uh, sorry. I was just looking for my cigarettes.” he said realizing that he was interrupting something. I took the opportunity to jump up and practically run towards him, shoving the pack into his hand once I reached him. I then pushed past him and into the house. “Uh, thanks?” he said. I could feel Franks gaze burning into the back of my head. I knew I owed him an explanation. But I just couldn’t, not yet. I stomped through the kitchen and made my way further into the house. I needed Pete. 

***  
“River I know this isn’t what you want to hear. But you need to talk to him. He deserves answers.” Pete said to me, his wide brown eyes locked on mine. “You don’t think I know that Pete?” I threw up my hands in exasperation “You don’t think I know how bad I fucked up? That I haven’t regretted leaving every single fucking minute of the last year? I didn’t want him to get buried by my shit. I didn’t want him to get hurt” I was trying hard to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. “Riv. If you didn’t want him to get buried in your shit as you call it” raising his fingers in an air quote “then maybe you should have walked away four years ago when you first met. Or maybe when he told you that he loved you for the first time. Or perhaps when he asked you to move in with him. Or certainly when he asked you to marry him. You know I love you, but you are being a complete fucking moron. You think walking away without any explanation at all was saving him from something. That’s you being truly fucking selfish River. You wanna know what I think? I think you left because you were scared. Because for the first time in your life you were really happy, and you were terrified that you were gonna fuck it up. And guess what. You did. But not only did you fuck up your relationship, you fucked up Frank too. You know that I will always have your back, but River, you have to either tell him how you felt, and still feel, or you need to fucking let him go. No more asking him to sleep in your bed, no more confessing to other people that you still love him. No more watching doorways, hoping he’s going to walk through it.” as he finished his last sentence i drug my eyes from the doorway that I hadn’t even really been aware that I was looking at and looked at the floor. Pete reached over and grabbed my chin forcing me to look him in the eye. “ I know you think you’re not worth it River. I know you think that what happened to you made you less worthy or unloveable, but you are so fucking wrong. I have never seen someone so completely in love with another person. He loves you. So fucking much. Neither one of you are happy. Please. Just go talk to him” he pulled me into a hug as he finally finished. I nodded as I buried my face into his chest. There was a timid knock on the door frame and the sound of someone clearing their throat. We both turned around to see Mikey standing in the doorway with a strange look on his face. “Umm guys we have a problem. Frank’s gone.” he face held its trademark blank look, but I could see an edge of panic in his eyes. “Ok, well it’s not like he could have gotten very far” Pete replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Ummm yeah, see the thing is, he took your Jeep.” Mikey winched as he said that, and I turned to see Pete’s mouth drop open in disbelief. “That mother fucker!” Pete said, slamming his fist into the wall.

 

***  
Frank had been gone ten days, and I was starting to get frantic. Pete and Gerard had spent a huge amount of time driving the van around looking for any sign of him, but had so far turned up empty handed. Worse yet, the guys had started talking about leaving. “Patrick, I understand what you are saying. And I agree that we have to move on soon, but if you suggest just one more time that we leave without finding Frank I swear to God I will punch you square in the face.” I said as a glared around the table where everyone had assembled. “River, we know that you’re worried. We’re worried too, but we can’t just stay here.” Gerard said gently. I knew that Gerard was just as, if not more, distraught as I was. Frank had been his best friend for almost as long as Pete had been mine. “How is he going to find us if we leave Gee??” I asked, my throat thick with emotion. “Frankie knows where we’re heading. So if he wants to find us, he’ll know where to look” Mikey piped up, and I whipped around to face him. “What the fuck do you mean ‘IF he wants to find us?” I asked him struggling to keep my voice even. “For Christ’s sake River. I am so tired of you walking around here whining about him doing the exact fucking thing that you did to him. You left him. And now he left. Why do you think he left? Because you were pushing him away at every available opportunity. You were making him miserable. Why in the hell would he want to come back to that?” I could see Mikey making a real effort to maintain he calm face. “What the actual fuck Mikey?” Gerard spun around to face his brother. “Just because your pissy that Pete’s pissy does not mean that you can take it out on River. That was a real fucked up thing to say, and I assure you we are going to have a conversation about this later. But for right now…..” Gerard didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because Pete suddenly burst through the door. “Fuck, Patrick! Joe! I found him, but it’s not good. You need to come with me right fucking now” he said before rushing back out the door. We all sat in stunned silence for about fifteen seconds before we all jumped up and ran for the door. Outside Pete was rushing over to his Jeep where I could see Frank sprawled in the passenger seat, covered in what I was pretty sure was blood. I took a moment to realize that there was a stranger in the driver’s seat of the Jeep before I was pushed out of the way by Patrick carrying his bag and barking orders at the others. “Joe, I need you to help Pete get him in the house. Gerard, go boil me some water and tear some towels up. Mikey go make sure that the bed in mine and Joe’s room is cleaned off, because I don’t want to have to carry him up the stairs. River. River! I need you to focus, are you going to freak out about this?” he asked me wheeling around to face me. “Umm I don’t….I mean, I can’t…” I mumbled out a string of words that didn’t technically answer his question. “Ok. What I need you to do is just stay out of the way. I don’t want to have to deal with you losing it while I am trying to work on him. So, no offense, but I need you to sit your ass on that porch swing, and don’t fucking move until Joe comes and gets you. Got it?” He pause for a moment to look me in the eye. “I swear to you I will do everything in power to make sure he’s be ok.” he whispered, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead before he rushed off the porch and towards the Jeep, once again barking orders to the crowd, but I could no longer hear him over the static that filled my ears. I found myself looking anywhere except the too still form sprawled out on the passenger seat, so I studied the newcomer that was now standing several feet away from the knot of men working to get Frank out of the car. My heart sank as I saw that it was a beautiful woman. Her porcelain skin all but glowed flawlessly in the sunlight except for the purpling of a bruise high on her cheekbone, and the long ragged cut peeking out of the sleeve of her t-shirt. Her long strawberry blonde hair pulled into a ponytail high on the crown of her head. She was watching the scene unfold in front of her when her hand pressed to her mouth and tears running down her cheeks. I glanced once more between the anguish on her face and to the limp shape now being carried towards the house, and I did the only thing that I could think of. I ran.  
***  
However, I didn’t run far. I broke down before I got halfway across the backyard. I fell to my knees burying my face in my hands as I shook with the waterfall of tears that flooded my eyes. I cried for Frank. I cried for my lost parents. I cried for the new girl standing in the front yard. But most of all I cried for myself. I ripped out the stitches that had held my heart together for the last year. I cried until my eyes were red and raw, and my nose was so stuffed up I couldn’t breath if I closed my mouth. I didn’t hear the footsteps approaching me so the light hand on my shoulder shocked a gasp out of me. My head shot up and a fell back on to my butt staring up into a pair of beautiful greenish brown eyes. She smiled softly at me and sat down across from me. “are you ok?” she asked leaning forward slightly but keeping a respectful distance between us. I’m sure I looked a mess. Hair tangled and damp, face red and puffy, mouth gaping open. “Oh. I should probably introduce myself. I’m Cathryn.” she gave me a sunny smile that did little to disguise the suffering she was feeling, and held her hand out to me. I stared at her hand waiting for my brain to catch up. I must have waited too long, because her smile faltered and she brought her hand up into an awkward wave. “You um….you must be River. Frank talked about you all the time before….” she struggled to make conversation with me until I abruptly cut her off “What happened to Frank? And who the fuck are you? Where did you come from?” Her eyes widened and her head jerked back at the venom in my voice as if I physically hit her. “Ummm I’m sorry, I just….please. I need to know what happened.” I tried again. I saw her shoulders relax as she met my eyes. “Well, I’m Cathryn. But I guess I already said that.” she laughed awkwardly, “and Frank found me four or five days ago. I was walking down the road, just trying to get away. A bunch of guys had attacked me, and held me hostage. I had escaped and was…..just running. At first I thought he was with them, those tattoos can be pretty scary you know.” I smiled at the thought of anyone thinking Frankie was scary, but I guess to someone that didn’t know his kind heart, he would be rather intimidating. “But once he got me to calm down I realized he couldn’t be anymore different than those monsters. It’s his eyes you know?” I nodded in agreement with a small smile on my face. “He convinced me to come with him. He made me feel safe.” That sentence alone made my heart sink. I knew how easy it was to fall in love with Frank. And I could easily see the two of them together. “He told me about this house. About his friends. About you.” I looked down at my fingers tangling together in my lap. “River, without ever having met you, I could see how deeply and ridiculously hopelessly he is in love with you.” My head snapped up and I looked at her staring straight into my eyes. And I saw nothing but honesty there. “Can you tell me what happened?” I whispered, and this time she was the one whose gaze dropped to the grass. “It’s all my fault.” I saw tears begin to fall, and then she raised her face to look at me again. “The men that I ran from, they were tracking us. When we stopped to sleep last night they attacked us. They dragged us out of the car. They kept telling Frank that all they wanted was their property. That he was free to go. But…….” she had started to cry in earnest now, her tears making it hard for her to go on. “But Frank would never do that.” I said as I reached towards her and grabbed her hand, squeezing it lightly. She smiled down at our joined hands and used her free one to brush away the tears on her cheeks. “No. They had bats and knives, and they….they hit me a couple of times and started in on Frank when they saw he wasn’t going to just leave me there. He got it worse than me. I’m sure they would have kept going until they’d killed him, but luckily some mistmen showed up.” A surprised laugh bubbled up from her throat, “I never thought I’d say that” she said shaking her head. “Lucky for me they seemed more interested in the men than they did us so I had a chance to drag Frank back to the Jeep and get us out of there.” “How did you find Pete?” I asked. “Well Frank was fading in and out of consciousness, but he was coherent enough to point me in the right direction, and after that it was just luck. He got hit in the head really hard, I’m pretty sure he has a concussion and I think they might have stabbed him, but I’m not sure what else is wrong with him. River I’m so sorry. All of this is my fault. If Frank hadn’t found me or had just left me when they showed up, those guys would have left him alone.” she started crying again, and I used our connected hands to drag her into a hug “Stop that. You don’t know that they would have left us alone. Especially if they are interested in girls. I’m sure I would have been on their list. As far as what’s wrong with Frank, Patrick is a doctor, and Joe was an army medic. You were so right to bring him here.” She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you in the house, and find a bed for you to rest in.” I said standing up with my arms around her waist, forcing her to stand with me. I guess the adrenaline was wearing off, because I barely got her into the house, and I practically had to drag her up the stairs into my bedroom. I’m pretty sure she was asleep before I even got her tucked it. I pulled the blankets up to her chin and quietly left the room, heading out the front door, and deposited myself on the porch swing, ready to wait for the signal that I could see Frank.  
***  
I’m not sure how long I sat there staring out across the front yard, not really seeing anything. I looked up when I heard the front door open, and saw Gerard walk out with Pete close behind him. Gerards eyes were red, but he didn’t appear to be crying anymore. I took that as a good sign. “Hey guys.” I said softly as they made their way towards me. Pete sat next to me, and Gerard took a seat on the top step facing me, leaning back against the porch railing. “So? Anyone gonna tell me what’s going on” I asked trying to keep my voice light. “Well, He has a pretty deep stab wound in his right shoulder, and another shallower one in his left calf. His ribs are pretty bruised up, but Patrick doesn’t think he has a concussion. He thinks that he was losing consciousness due to shock and blood loss. It also looks like at least three of his fingers were dislocated on his left hand. But other than that Patrick says he should be fine. He had to give Frank a sedative to stitch him up and set his fingers, but Joe seems to think that he’ll wake up on his own in a few hours.” Pete explained all this to me without ever looking at me. When he finally turned to face me I could see determination in his eyes. “River, we need to know what you’re going to do. We can’t let you in to see him if you’re just going to upset him again. You can’t go in there and act the way you’ve been acting with him. Being stressed out isn’t going to help his recovery.” I blinked in surprise “Pete. I haven’t been….I mean, I would never” I tried to articulate the hurt I was feeling “What Pete means to say” Gerard interjected, throwing Pete a stern look “Is that we all know the two of you have been dancing around each other, and what happened between the two of you. We know you want to see him. We just can’t let that happen if you’re not ready to resolve your problems. You either have to let him go, or tell him you still love him.” Gerard finished, reaching over to squeeze my knee. “Apparently Pete’s just been spending to much time hanging out with my brother to remember that sometimes he needs to think about what comes out of his mouth.” He said, again fixing Pete with a hard stare. “No, Gee I’ve been very selfish. I can’t keep pushing him away, and then dragging him back in. I know I’ve hurt him, and I’ll never forgive myself for that, and I’m not sure he should either. But I at least need him to know that I know I was wrong.” I turned to look at Pete “And what Pete said may sound harsh, but he knows that that’s what I need to hear.” Pete leaned over and kissed my temple and I leaned into him. “I love you moon beam. And I would never do anything to hurt you, unless I knew it was for your own good. Now get your cute ass in there. Patrick said you could wait in the room until he wakes up. But remember. Don’t upset him” I turned to my best friend and hugged him tight, then reached down to squeeze Gerards shoulder before I went through the front door to wait for Frank.  
***  
I spent the majority of the next three hours curled up in the armchair that sat in the corner of the room. Patrick and Joe had come in a couple of times to check on Frank, and didn’t seem bothered that he hadn’t woke up yet. I looked up when Gerard poked his head in the door. “Hey. You should come get something to eat. Patrick said he could still be asleep for awhile.” he said softly, as if speaking too loudly would wake Frank up. I shook my head and looked back at the beautiful man asleep on the bed “No. I want to be here when he wakes up.” I said just as softly. “Alright, but if he’s not awake in a few hours I’m gonna come in here and drag you out to the kitchen and force feed you if I have to.” he responded holding my gaze. He nodded slightly at me and slipped back out the door, closing it softly behind him. I noticed that it was starting to get dark, so I made my way around the room lighting the few candles that Joe and Patrick had sitting around. “Setting the mood Riv?” I spun around so fast I swear I almost gave myself whiplash. I saw Frank looking back at me from the bed with his signature smirk on his face. “Frankie” I whispered. “Hey babe.” he whispered back. It took everything in me to not jump on him. “How’d I get back here. Is Cathryn here?” he said struggling to sit up, and hissing in pain before collapsing back onto his back. “Yea. Cathryn got you back here. Well she somehow found Pete and he led them back.” I answered slowly walking towards the bed, and sinking to my knees next to it so I was eye level with him. “Fuck River. You on your knees will always be one of my favorite sights” he said smiling, clearly trying to break the tension in the room. “So I remember being jumped by some guys, a whole lotta pain, mistmen, and now I’m here. What exactly is wrong with me?” He asked. I blushed and ducked my head before I answered him “Well Patrick had to stitch up a fairly deep gash in your right shoulder, and a smaller one in your left calf. Three fingers on your left hand were dislocated, and you have some bruised ribs.” I summed up looking up at him. “River. I have a very important question for you and I need you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?” He asked me with an incredibly serious look on his face. “OK.” I said and swallowed hard meeting his eyes. “Did they fuck up any of my tattoos?” I couldn’t stop the burst of laughter that escaped from my mouth. “You’d have to ask Patrick, Frank. I haven’t looked” Frank’s sly smile made its way back onto his gorgeous face, “You wanna check now?” he asked lifting the edge of the blanket up and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh I don’t think you’re up for a thorough investigation at the moment sir. Rain check though.” I replied winking at him with a smile. His smile slowly slipped off his face. “If I ask you to stay with me tonight will you be here in the morning?” he asked and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t here the ache in his voice. “Baby, there’s no place I’d rather be. I’ll be here tomorrow, and everyday after as long as you’ll have me.” I said walking around to the left side of the bed so I could cuddle into him without hurting his right shoulder. The smile on his face almost blinded me, and he lifted his arm allowing me to curl up next to him and rest my head on his chest. I lifted my head for a moment to look him in the eye “I’m so glad you’re ok Frankie. Please don’t ever do that to me again.” I whispered to him. He winced as he lifted his right hand to push my bangs off my forehead and placed a gentle kiss there. “I’m not that easy to get rid of baby.” he said softly into my hair. We laid there in silence until we both fell asleep wrapped around each other, neither of us stirring even when Gerard came back in to check on us an hour later.  
***  
I woke up early the next morning still snuggled in close to Frank. I lifted my head off his chest to look at him, only to see that he was still sound asleep. I laid my head back down, placing a soft kiss over his heart. I really wanted to stay with him until he woke up but I realized I had to pee pretty badly. And I should probably brush my teeth. I sighed deeply before I slipped out from under the covers, laying another gentle kiss onto his cheek before quietly slipping out of the room. I crept down the hall to the small bathroom. After I had finished peeing, I brushed my teeth, hair and washed my face. As I walked back out into the hallway, feeling distinctly more human, I noticed the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen. I peaked my head around the corner and saw Cathryn sitting at the kitchen table talking with Gerard. They were leaning close together, obviously deep in conversation. I walked over to the counter and poured myself and Frank each a mug of coffee, and turned around to head back to the bedroom when Gerard suddenly looked up and caught my eye. “Hey Riv. How’s Frank feeling” he asked leaning away from Cathryn. I saw her blush and threw her a knowing smile. “He hasn’t woke up yet. But, I’m gonna head back in there. I don’t want him to wake up without me” I said gesturing towards the door with a tip of my head. “Have fun guys” I finished, winking at Gerard, and I’m pretty sure I saw his cheeks go red before I turned the corner and walked back towards the room where Frank was. I gently pushed the door open with my foot and was shocked to he Frank sitting up in the bed with a mixture of anger and pain on his face. “Frankie! What are you doing? Why didn’t you wait for me? You could have hurt yourself getting up by yourself” I asked rushing over to place the mugs of coffee on the bedside table, and sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. Upon seeing me the tension on his face loosened, and he stared at me in wide eyed shock. “What’s wrong?” I started looking over his bandages as if I would be able to determine what was wrong just by staring at the white cloths covering his wounds. I reached for him to check closer when he suddenly grabbed my hand, and I raised my eyes to meet him. “You came back” he whispered. “What? Of course I did. I just went to the bathroom and to get coffee. Why wouldn’t I come back?” I asked, not understanding what he meant. “Because you never did last time. Or the time before. ” he answered looking down at our clasped hands. “Oh baby. I’m sorry. I didn’t think that you’d wake up while I was gone. I wouldn’t have left if I thought you were going to wake up. God I’m so fucking stupid” I let go of his hand to cup his cheeks and force him to look at me. “Frankie. I know I’ve made so many mistakes. I fucked up so bad. But if you give me the chance, I will explain everything, and I swear I will never leave you again. I don’t know if you can love me ever again, but I swear to you I never stopped loving you. There’s never been anyone for me but you, and there’s no one that will ever replace you in my heart……” I knew I had started to babble, but I couldn’t stop myself now that I had started. Frank placed his fingertips on my mouth as a signal for me to stop. “River. I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. I loved you so much.” I immediately focused in on the word “loved” my heart breaking into tiny pieces “and I will never stop. You’re a integral part of me, like the blood in my veins, and the air in my lungs. I could never exist without you. I will never, ever, stop loving you, and wanting you.” A single tear fell from my eye as he said the words that I had been afraid that I would never hear again. I choked back a sob as I surged forward and caught his lips in a fierce kiss, trying to express everything that I had been feeling for the last two years. I reached a hand up and tangled it in his soft dark brown hair, tugging lightly, and catching his pleased groan with my mouth. He started to scoot closer to me when we heard a throat clear from behind us. We jumped apart like two teenagers caught making out by their parents and spun around to see Patrick leaning against the door jamb with a smirk on his face. “Oh hey Frank. Glad to see you’re awake.”  
***  
My cheeks burned with embarrassment as Patrick just smiled back at us. Frank cleared his throat “Hey Patrick. Good to see you again.” “You too Frank. How are you feeling this morning?” Patrick responded walked towards the bed. “Well, except for the inevitable case of severe blue balls that I’m sure you just caused, I’m feeling ok. A little sore, but other than that, surprisingly ok.” Frank said shifting to lean against the headboard. I groaned and dropped my head into my hands, this was so embarrassing. I went to stand up, but Frank grabbed my hand, and tugged me closer to him wrapping his arm around my shoulder. Patrick laughed loudly “well, sorry about that. Next time hang a sock on the door or something, okay?” “Jesus. Can you to stop please?” I whined, throwing myself back onto the bed. They both laughed at me, and I have never wanted to disappear more in my life. “Anyway, let me take a look at your wounds to make sure everything’s ok, and then I’ll leave you alone to……...finish up.” Patrick said with a wink, leaning over to help Frank out of his shirt. “I hate you both so much” I replied getting up off the bed to give Patrick more room to examine Franks injuries. I leaned against the door frame watching Patrick unwrap Franks shoulder. It looked a lot better than I had imagined, but it still hurt me to see the obviously deep knife wound. Part of me wanted to blame Cathryn for causing this. But another (larger) part of me knew that she was not to blame. The only people to blame we’re the people who caused this. And they better hope that I never found them. Cathryn was just as much as a victim as Frank was. And I can’t imagine what would have happened to her if he hadn’t found her on the side of the road. I sighed wondering what had happened to the men that attacked Frank and Cathryn. I selfishly hoped the mistmen had gotten them. The sudden movement of Patrick getting off the bed startled me out of my thoughts. “OK. Well everything looks good. There’s no sign of infection, and luckily that stab wound on your shoulder was a fairly clean cut and missed anything major, so I have no doubt it’ll heal nicely with very little scarring. I’ll give you some pain meds, cause I’m sure what you got last night will be wearing off soon. Is there anything else you need right now?” Patrick asked as he dug through his bag for what I assume was pain medication. “Ummm…” Frank started, thinking about the question “I could really use something to eat, and oh my God a shower would be amazing!” he finished looking up at Patrick with hope in his eyes. “Uhhhh yeah. About that.” Patrick responded, scratching the back of his neck “The food I can totally handle, but about a shower. You can’t get your left hand wet, ‘cause of the splint and the wound on your leg is going to make it very hard for you to stand for any amount of time. And you’re not going to be able to lift your other arm sooooo…… a shower is a no go.” Franks face fell “unless….. someone would be willing to help you” Patrick finished turning to look at me. The smile that appeared on Franks face was like the sun breaking through the clouds on a gloomy day. He turned his beautiful green eyes on me “What do you say River? You down for getting wet with me?” he said with a suggestive smirk. I don’t think I’ve ever rolled my eyes so hard in my life.  
***  
After I agreed to help Frank bathe, Patrick decided we should do it as soon as possible so that he could just redress Frank’s wounds when we were done. Patrick helped Frank up off the bed and into the bathroom with me trailing behind like a lost puppy. I was nervous. Why the fuck was I nervous. It’s not like I’ve never seen Frank naked before. We slept in the same bed for two years for Christ’s sake. Snap out of it you idiot! Once Patrick got Frank into the bathroom and sitting on the closed toilet lid, he threw a smile in my direction. “Let me know when you’re all done, and I’ll put some new bandages on, and find something for you two to eat ok?” He winked at me, and walked out the door, closing it firmly with a click. I reached over and turned the lock. I was not in the mood to be disturbed again. I took a deep breath and turned around to face Frank, who was looking up at me, his eyes wide. “Listen, you know you don’t have to help me if you don’t feel comfortable right? I’m sure I could get Gee too….” Frank started to say but I interrupted him by crashing my lips on his. He responded immediately, bringing his uninjured hand up to tangle in my hair. When the angle I was forced to stand at became too much I sank to my knees in front of him, our lips never breaking contact. I felt him run his tongue over my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, granting him access. Our tongues met and I groaned at the taste of him. Fuck I had missed him. He spread his knees slightly and I moved forward to press myself more firmly against him. My left hand made its way around his back and began running up and down his spine, while the other came around to rest on the back of his neck. When the need to breath became too much, I reluctantly moved back, only to move down to his neck, biting and licking my way from his ear to his collarbone. “Fuck River” Frank groaned out “I want you so fucking bad. Jesus.” I pulled back and pressed another hard kiss on his mouth, and then sat back. “Frank, I am not going to have sex with you in the bathroom, when there’s a perfectly good bed not thirty feet away.” I whispered as I started running my hands up and down his thighs. I went back to attacking his neck with my mouth as my hands slid further up his legs coming to a rest at the waistband of his sweatpants. I could feel his hard length through the thin fabric, and it made my mouth water. I let my mouth wander further south, stopping to bite gently at his nipple and I slid my hand under the top of pants. I heard a gasp that quickly turned into a moan fall from Franks lips as I slowly started running my fingertips up and down the length of his dick. I pulled back from his chest after giving his nipple one last lick, and met his mouth in another passionate kiss. When I started to stroke his cock in earnest, Frank had to pull his lips back from mine, and rested our foreheads together. I began to stroke him faster, adding a small twist at the end, and firmly rubbing my thumb against the vein running from the base to the tip. “Oh Fuck River. Just like that, fuck I missed you so much. I’m never letting you get away again. Me and you baby, you’re my forever. Fuck. River! God just like that! Holy shit! Riv!” I knew from the way he was babbling that he was getting close to completion. I wanted to see him fall apart at my hands. I leaned back far enough to be able to his gorgeous face scrunch up with pleasure. He had his eyes closed tightly, mouth hanging open, and his head tipped back. He looked obscene. He looked gorgeous. He looked like every wet dream I’ve ever had brought to life. “Come on Frankie. Come for me. Wanna see you. Please baby.” I whispered as I doubled my efforts, wanting to see him finish so bad. “Oh God! Oh! Fuck! River! Jesus Christ!” I felt his cock erupt hotly over my fingers and he moaned his way through his orgasm. I continued to stroke him until he hissed with oversensitivity, His breathing started to slow down, as he raised his head. I pulled my hand from his now sticky pants and brought it to my mouth. I met his green eyes as I sucked my fingers into my mouth, licking his come from them. He groaned, and dropped his head back down, taking another deep breath. “Jesus fuck River.” I smirked as I stood up, winching as my knees popped from having kneeled down for so long. I pulled back the shower curtain and turned the water on, plugging the tub. I turned back to Frank to see him staring at me. “I think a bath is a better idea don’t you?” I asked him. He smiled lazily at me. “Yeah. Bath, then food. Then I’m gonna fuck you through the fucking mattress baby.”  
***  
After I got Frank out of the bath we shuffled back towards the bedroom, got some pants on him and I helped him heave himself into the bed. I got him situated, dropped a quick kiss on the top of his head and left the room to find Patrick. I walked into the kitchen, and not seeing anyone around, I turned and made my way to the living room. My mouth dropped open at the sight that met my eyes. Gerards was sitting on the couch, but he didn’t notice that I had walked in. Mostly because his lap was currently full of Cathryn. She was sitting on his lap facing him and had her arms wrapped around Gerards neck as they kissed frantically. “Ummmmm…… I’ll just…...yea” I said awkwardly and quickly backed back out of the room. I turned quickly as I re- entered the hallway and ran smack into Patrick. “Oh! Hey! Um, Frank’s back in the bedroom, if you’d like to, um, redress his wounds. I’m gonna, um, go make him a sandwich. K, bye.” I caught the puzzled look on Patrick’s face as I quickly walked past him and into the kitchen. When I made it to the counter, I propped my elbows up and rested my head in my hands. Taking a deep breath I felt my face break into a smile. I started to giggle as I pushed myself away from the counter and started to gather up the things I would need to make Frank something to eat. A short while later I walked back into the bedroom with a sandwich, and apple and a bottle of water. Patrick was finishing up re-wrapping Frank’s injuries. “Do you want to put your shirt back on?” Patrick asked as he started packing his supplies back up. “Nah. I think I’m gonna take a nap after I eat, and I don’t want to get too hot. That bath took an awful lot out of me.” Frank replied catching my eye and smirking at me. I rolled my eyes, and placed his food on the bedside table. “Alright, well, make sure you take your pain medicine after you eat. And, River come get me if he needs anything else. I’d like you to stay off your feet until at least tomorrow so we know how you’re going to react to the medication.” Patrick started walking to the door, and Frank raised his hand in a mock salute. “Sir, yes sir.” “River did you see Cathryn while you were out there? I wanna check her arm to make sure it’s healing right.” Patrick asked. “NO!” I yelled. Both Patrick and Frank turned to look at me, they’re faces identical in the look of shock. “I mean, I saw her go upstairs. I think she was going to take a nap, so you should probably wait a bit” I continued, trying to keep a straight face, even when a hysterical giggle was trying to creep up my throat. “ooooooook. Well then, if you don’t need anything else, I think I’m going to go find Joe. See you guys later.” Patrick threw one last puzzled look at me and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Once the door was securely shut, I sagged onto the bed letting out a breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding. “Alright spill.” Frank said as he grabbed his food and began munching on the sandwich. I rolled over on my side to look at him, “guess who Cathryn was sucking face with in the living room a few minutes ago?” I asked as I watched him wolf down his sandwich. “Who?” he replied around the food stuffed in his mouth. “Gerard.” I answered. He froze mid chew, one cheek puffed out like a chipmunk. I watched him clearly taking in this new found knowledge and he slowly started to chew again. He began nodding as he swallowed. He cracked open his bottle of water as chugged half of it before popping the last bit of sandwich into his mouth. He set the apple on the table, popped the pill Patrick had left into his mouth and quickly finished the water before setting the empty bottle next to the apple. Then he turned back to me. “I approve” was all he said. I burst out laughing, “I’m sure they’ll both be glad they have your seal of approval.” I leaned over and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. He grabbed the back of my neck as I started to pull away and brought his lips to mine, in a slow passionate kiss. We kissed until the lack of oxygen forced us to part. “Listen baby. I know I promised to fuck you through the mattress, but I was serious when I said the bath took a lot out of me. Take a nap with me?” Frank whispered into the skin of my neck. “There’s no place I’d rather be Frankie” I replied placing one more gentle kiss on his lips before I stood up, removing my shorts and pulling the blankets back so we could both climb in. “But after you’re well rested. I expect to be thoroughly fucked sir.” I said settling my head onto his chest and tangling our legs together. “Oh River. I plan to exceed all your expectations.” he said wrapping his arms around me, and snuggling in close. I took a deep breath, breathing in the smell of him. And I realized I had been telling the truth. This is exactly where I wanted to be.  
***  
I woke up a few hours later laying on my side with Franks hard dick pressing into my ass. I rolled my hips back and heard him groan in his sleep and his grip on my hip tightened for a moment. I grinned to myself at his reaction, and carefully turned over gently coaxing a sleeping Frank onto his back. I was really glad that he had opted to sleep without a shirt as I took a moment to just take in his gorgeous body. My eyes raked over his bare chest, taking in the familiar sight of his tattoos when a new one caught my eye. Directly over his heart was a small black heart with the word “River” written across it in red ink. Sometime in the last two years, even though I left him with no explanation and broke his heart, he had my name inked over his heart. The surge of love that filled my heart made my chest ache. It was like he always knew we would end up here. Together. My eyes began to water with the amount of love that I felt for him. I didn’t deserve him, and yet here we were. I leaned over a pressed a kiss to the inked heart on his chest, and was suddenly overcome with the need to show him how much I loved him. I began to trail kisses down his chest until I came to the waistband of his pants. I wasted no time pulling them down slightly to lick the crease at the joining of his thigh and hip, and sucked a dark mark there. I glanced up at him and saw his eyes were still closed as if he was still asleep, but I noticed a slight smile on his lips. I looked back down at the impressive bulge that was evident in his sleep pants, and couldn’t help the lust filled groan that left my lips. I slowly swung my hips over his thighs and eased his pants down until his dick sprang free. I ran my hand up and down his thighs for a moment before I closed my eyes, leaned down and took his cock into my mouth. Frank immediately gave up pretending to be asleep, gasping and reaching down to tangle his hand in my hair. I opened my eyes and caught his lidded gaze. “Fuck” he whispered, licking his lips. I slowly lowered my head until I had taken him in completely as I brought one hand up to gently cup his balls , rolling them softly in my hand. I pulled almost all the way off, and sucked hard on the head. “God River. I missed your mouth. You’re so fucking good.” Frankie murmured tugging on my hair. I groaned around him feeling him stiffen fully in my mouth, and began to bob my head steadily. I flicked my eyes back to his face and took in his lust clouded gaze. He bit his lip and and carefully thrust his hips up, pushing his dick further into my mouth, making me gag slightly. I rested both my hands on the back of his thighs giving him the silent ok to fuck my mouth. Frank began thrusting into my mouth rapidly, never taking his eyes off mine. “Oh Jesus baby. You look so hot with my cock in your mouth. Your mouth was made for sucking my dick baby. You’re so fucking gorgeous Riv. I love you so much” I could tell he was getting close when his thrusts began to get sloppy. “I’m gonna come River. Fuck, don’t fucking stop.” He tugged on my hair in warning, in case I wanted to pull off, but instead I just doubled my efforts, doing my best to run my tongue over the sensitive vein running along the back. Frank seemed to have lost the ability to articulate words, reducing his babble to groans and moans. With one final gasp, he groaned out my name and exploded into my mouth. I swallowed him down greedily and continued to gently suck him until he began to whine with oversensitivity, tugging on my hair until I pulled off with an obscene pop. I crawled up his body and our mouths collided in a messy kiss that was mostly teeth and tongue. Frank brought his hand up to rest on my ass, carefully sliding his fingers under the elastic on my underwear. He ran his fingers down the softly stroke over my entrance, and then further up to my sensitive bud. And then someone knocked on the door. Frank groaned “motherfucker. What?” he yelled at the closed door. I rolled off him, and back under the covers as the door opened and Cathryn poked her head in the door. “Uh, hey Frank. I just wanted to see how you were doing? I’m not interrupting am I?” she asked, her eyes moving from Franks face to mine. I smiled at her warmly, pushed the covers back and stood up. I walked over to the dresser, grabbing a pair of shorts, and tugging them on. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail as I made my way back over to Frank. I leaned over and kissed him softly before I stood back up and turned to Cathryn. ‘I’m gonna go find Pete. You guys can talk in here.” I said walking towards the door. I paused in front of Cathryn, and pulled her into a quick hug, and then began to walk out of the room. “Hey Riv?” Frank said from behind me. I turned around to look at him, and saw a bright smile on his face when I raised an eyebrow at him. “We’re not done here you know?” he said with a wink. “Oh I know. You still have a promise to keep.” I replied and blew him a kiss before I left the room to find my best friend.  
***  
From the noises coming through the closed door of Pete’s room, I assume that he’s with Mikey and that they do not want to be disturbed. I walked back down the hallway, listening to the quiet of the house and trying to get the sound of Pete and Mikey out of my head. I walked through the kitchen picking up a bottle of water and walked out the back door. I stopped for a moment and looked around the yard. Trees bordered the area on three sides and my eyes landed again on what I thought was probably a small garden was tucked in the far corner. I made a mental note to investigate that later. As I stepped off the porch I saw Gerard sitting at a picnic table at the edge of the yard, smoking, As I came up behind him I saw that he appeared to be drawing. As I looked closer I noticed he was drawing Cathryn. I continued to walked around the table, taking a seat across from him, clearing my throat so that he knew I was there. His head snapped up, and is face broke into a smile as he turned his picture face down on the table. “Hey Moonbeam. How are you feeling? How’s Frank” he asked bringing his cigarette to his mouth and taking a deep inhale. I reached over to steal one from his box along with his lighter and brought both to my mouth, lighting it before answering. “I’m good Gee. For the first time in a long time I feel really good.” I tilted my head back, and exhaled, blowing the smoke skyward. “And Frank is good. Patrick checked him out earlier, and said he seems to be healing well so far. He’s talking to Cathryn right now. Speaking of which…….” I let myself trail off as I raised an eyebrow at him. I saw his cheeks turn pink before he ducked his head down to look at the table his dark hair falling to obscure his features. “Uh, what do you mean?” he asked, running his hand through his hair, flicking his gaze back up to meet mine. I rolled my eyes and reached over and flipped the picture of Cathryn over and looked at him expectantly. “Oh. Umm well she’s really pretty and I just wanted to draw her. I mean, it’s nothing, it doesn’t mean anything or…” “Gee I saw the two of you in the living room earlier.” I interrupted and he looked up at me so fast I’m not sure how he didn’t hurt himself. “You did?” he asked in a small voice, and seeming to search my face for acceptance. “Gee. It’s ok” I said reaching out and laying my hand on his. “Do you like her?” I asked taking a long drag on my cigarette. “Fuck River, I like her so much. She’s gorgeous, and so smart. And funny. And sweet.” he gushed like a schoolgirl. I watched as his eyes gained a far off look, and a small smile danced on his lips. He sighed, and looked back at me, “I know I just met her, and it’s stupid to feel this way, but I think I might love her.” I met his wide eyed gaze, and squeezed his hand. “I understand Gee. I knew I loved Frank the first day I met him. Loves funny like that. I think, when you meet the one, your soul knows it.”Gerards face broke into a wide smile. “Don’t tell Mikey ok? I don’t want him to freak. You know how he is.” he asked as he let go of my hand and stood up grabbing his pad of paper and pencil. I nodded and he smiled again as he turned and walked back towards the house. I watched his retreating form, and finished smoking my cigarette, watching as the sun slowly went down and painted the sky gold and red. I stood up and made my way towards where the garden was, hoping to maybe find some fresh vegetables, unable to keep the smile off my face.  
***  
Sometime later I ambled back into the house with an armload of tomatoes, and cucumbers. The kitchen was empty but after I dumped my find on the counter I heard mummering from the living room. I poked my head around the corner and saw Mikey and Gerard sitting on the couch talking quietly. I quickly backed out of the room and headed down the hall, assuming that Pete would now be unoccupied. “Pete?” I called out, tapping my knuckles on the door “are you decent?” The door suddenly swung open in front of me and I was drug inside by the wrist and the door slammed shut behind me. Pete tugged me over to the bed and pushed me down, flopping down on his stomach next to me. “Riv! It feels like for fucking ever since I’ve seen you. How’s Frank? How are you and Frank?” he started spitting questions out at me as he kicked up his legs and swung them back and forth. “I swear P. You are a teenage girl.” I said giggling at my best friend. Pete flipped me his middle finger cheerfully and rolled over onto his back, folding his arms behind his head and looking up at me expectantly. I laughed and rolled my eyes “Fine. Franks ok. Patrick wants him to stay off his feet today until we know how his pain meds are going to affect him. But he’s pretty pleased with how Franks healing so far. And as far as how Frank and I are………… I think we’re ok. Physically anyway.” I finished with a blush. “Ohhhhhhh River!!! Already back in the saddle!!” I felt my face flame bright red and I buried my face in my hands. “Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeete.” I whined. The bed shook with force of Pete’s laughter. He patted me on the shoulder as his laughter dwindled. “I’m just messing with you Riv. But seriously, how are you guys?” he asked, his smile still evident in his voice. I threw myself back so I was laying down next to him staring at the ceiling. “I mean, ok I guess? I don’t know Pete! We’re talking, which is an accomplishment. And we’re doing…….other things. But…… ugh it’s just hard ya know?” I said turning my head to look him in the eye. “Have you talked to him about what happened?” Pete asked softly, reaching over to push my hair out of my eyes. “No.” I said, and Pete raised an eyebrow at me. “I know, I know! I meant to this morning. But then…..things happened, and then Cathryn came to talk to him, and I know we need to talk about it. And we will! Eventually……” I didn’t think it was possible for him to raise his eyebrow any further, but he proved me wrong. “River……” he started, “I swear Pete. I’m gonna talk to him about it.” I interrupted. “Now River. You need to just rip off the bandaid and get it over with.” he said sitting up and pulling me up with him. “Uuuuugh fine.” I said getting up off the bed when suddenly the door flew open, and Mikey walked in. “Hey Riv. Umm Patrick and Gee need to talk to everyone in Frank’s room.” he said before walking back out. I turned to look at Pete who shrugged and stood next to me. “Let’s go see what’s up?” he said reaching down to wind out fingers together, and tugged me out of the room.  
***  
When Pete and I walked into the room where Frank and I had been staying I was surprised to see everyone else waiting there for us. Frank’s face lit up when his eyes settled on me from the bed and he lifted his arm, indicating the he wanted me to take the seat next to him on the bed. I smiled and climbed up on the bed, snuggling into his side. Gerard was sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room, with Cathryn perched next to him with his arm around her waist and hand firmly on her hip. Pete settled on the end of the bed with Mikey while Patrick and Joe were sitting side by side on the floor. I turned my head to stare up at Frank. I couldn’t believe that he was mine again. He must have felt my gaze because he glanced down at me and smiled as he met my eyes. He leaned down and kissed my lips gently and I could feel his smile on my mouth. I sighed as we broke apart and opened my mouth to tell him that I loved him when I was interrupted by Joe clearing his throat. I whipped my head around caught his eye with a guilty smile on my face. “So. The reason that Patrick and I wanted to talk to everyone is because we think it’s about time we restart our trip to Boulder.” Gerard started, leaning forward in his chair. “I’ve been talking to Ray on the CB, and according to him the mist men problem has been all but eradicated in the mountainous regions. And now that the prodigal son has returned,” at this he paused and threw a stern look at Frank, who blushed and dropped his head to hide his face “we think that we should start heading that way again.” he finished settling back into his chair, draping his arm back around Cathryn’s waist. “Frank, you seem to be healing well, and there doesn’t seem to be any sign of infection. And both River and Cathryn’s wounds are pretty much healed as well. We of course want everyone’s opinion, since this a group decision, but if everyone agrees we’d like to leave in the morning.” Patrick continued from the floor. I glanced around at everyone sitting around the room, and saw that they were all nodding in agreement. I felt Frank gently nudge my side and looked up at his face. “What’daya think Riv?” he asked quietly. I thought for a brief moment and then nodded myself. “If you’re in. I’m in. I’d follow you anywhere baby” I whispered before I leaned in a brushed my lips against his. “Alright then, it’s decided.” Patrick said, standing up and tugging Joe up with him “I suggest you guys spend the next couple of hours gathering all your stuff to make sure you don’t leave anything behind. We’ve spread out quite a bit in the last couple of weeks.” and that seemed to adjourn the meeting as everyone started drifting out of the room, most likely to make sure everything was packed up. I looked down and grabbed Frank’s hand in my own and squeezed it lightly. “I’m gonna go pack up my stuff. I’ll be back in a little while. You should rest a little while I’m gone. After all you still have a promise to fulfill” I said before heaving myself up off the bed. I heard him take a deep breath and looked back at him as I reached the door. I smiled at the lust that clouded is eye, and winked at him before exiting the room.  
***  
Later that night, after prowling around the house gathering up everything that had somehow migrated to the first floor, i climbed the stairs to what had been my room to repack my bag. I came to a stop as I entered the room, seeing Cathryn perched on the side of the bed looking out the window into the dark night. “Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to intrude” i said as she looked up and met my eyes. She smiled sweetly “Oh, you’re fine. It’s technically your room anyway I guess” she said standing up. I noticed she was still wearing the same clothes she’d arrive in, her t-shirt ripped and stained and her jeans covered in dirt. I realized that I never saw her bring any bags in with her, so she must not have anything other than what she was wearing. I strode over to where my bag sat on the floor and began to dig through it looking for something that would fit her. I found a pair of cotton shorts and a Ramones t-shirt that I’m pretty sure originally belonged to Mikey.. I looked up and caught Cathryn’s eye as I held out the clean clothes I’d found. “I think these should fit you. You should probably just throw those away” I said trying to make light of the situation. I watched as she looked down at the clothes I held in my hand and then up into my eyes. She blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. “Uh. Thank you” she whispered bringing her hand up to wipe at her eyes. “Um, it’s fine…I’m not even entirely sure whose shirt this is at this point…..” I began. Cathryn suddenly threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I awkwardly brought my hand up to rub her back “hey, its ok. You’re ok.” I whispered to her, letting her get control of herself before pulling away to hold her at arm’s length. “You can talk to me” I told her, holding eye contact with her, “anything you need to talk about, I’m here. Or Frank. Or even Pete. He gets distracted easily, and has a profoundly dirty mind, but he’s a good listener I promise.” I finished and was rewarded with a slight smile. “ I know” she answered “it’s just easy to forget that there are good people ya know?” she asked wiping away the tear tracks that marked her cheeks. “I can’t …. talk about it. Not right now. But thank you. For everything” she said and then raised one eyebrow and, maintaining eye contact with me, went up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to my lips. I widen my eyes for a moment and then shut them tightly, bringing my hand to rest on her lower back. She pulled away after a moment and smiled shyly at me “thanks” she whispered again lowering her eyes and turning to walk out of the room. She turned back towards me briefly right before she left the room, shooting me one last smile before she disappeared around the door jamb. “Fuck” I whispered to myself, bringing my hand to softly touch my lips before taking a deep breath and turning to repack my duffle bag.  
***  
After shoving everything back into my bags and making one last circuit around the upstairs to check for any remaining stray articles of clothing, I made my way downstairs. I drifted towards the kitchen, deciding to get a quick bite to eat before I headed back to Frank to try and get some sleep. The soft glow of candle light greeted me when I stepped through the door. Joe, Gerard, Mikey and Pete were gathered around the table arguing heatedly over a card game. I walked past them and over to the counter and began to make myself a sandwich. “I don’t care what you say, Mikes. That’s not how you play the game” Gerard said exasperatedly. “ And I don’t care what you say. If I can bluff my way out of it, I say that it’s perfectly acceptable.” Mikey replied back, pushing his chair back and leveling his brother with a steady gaze. “I don’t know Mikey. I think Gee might be right, I mean if you have any twos and he asks for twos, then you have to give them to him. Those are the rules.” Pete answered trying to defuse the situation. “But if I bluff, and he doesn’t know that I have them, then it shouldn’t matter!” Mikey answered back, crossing his arms over his chest, clearly settling in for a fight . Wait, I thought stopping in the middle of slicing a tomato. I turned around slowly and caught Joe’s gaze and raising a questioning eyebrow. “Are you guys really arguing the rules of Go Fish?” I asked, unable to keep the laughter out of my voice. I shifted my weight and leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. “Don’t you start moon beam. They’re just mad at my uncanny poker face.” Mikey replied, flapping a dismissive hand in my direction. “Well, that poker face would be useful, Michael, if we were in fact playing poker. However, this is Go Fish. And in Go Fish, ‘bluffing’ is also called ‘lying’!” Gerard answered throwing his hands in the air. I shook my head, laughing and turned to finish making my sandwich. I heard Mikey make an irritated noise and push his chair back from the table. “Fine. Then I’m just to take my toys and go home. Come on Pete.” I turned back around in time to see Mikey grab Petes hand and drag him out of the room and towards the stairs. “Night Riv!” Pete yelled and blew me a kiss before he was out of sight. I took my sandwich and sat down in Pete’s vacated seat, taking a big bite. I looked from Gerard to Joe’s faces as I chewed. “If nothing else they are entertaining” Joe said standing up. “I’m going to head up to bed. Night guys” He tousled my hair affectionately as he walked past and out the door. I smiled and took another bite of my sandwich, catching Gerard’s eye as he looked up at me. I stopped midchew, looking at Gerard closer. “Uh Gee. “ I said after swallowing “Are you wearing eyeliner?” I watched his cheeks redden as he brought a hand up to run through his damp hair. “And wait a minute. Did you wash your hair!” I asked disbelievingly. He ducked his head in embarrassment and honestly it was adorable. I continued to stare at him as he opened his mouth to reply, only to snap it shut when Cathryn breezed through the door, smelling of soap, hair wrapped in a towel. I watched Gerard’s face become redder as he dropped his gaze back to the table. “Ahhhh. I get it. Cool. Well I’m gonna go to bed. See you guys in the morning” I said, pushing my chair back and popping the last bit of my sandwich into my mouth. I turned slightly to wave at Cathryn as I exited the room. I heard Cathryn softly mummer to Gerard and heard his answering laugh, smiling to myself and I walked down the darkened hall towards Frank's’ room.  
***  
I met Patrick coming out of Frank’s darkened bedroom. “Hey Riv. Heading to bed?” He asked quietly and he stepped out of the way of the open door. “Yea. I’m beat and I know you and Gee want to leave early in the morning. I think I’ve gathered up all my stuff, so I’m gonna hit the hay.” I answered back. I nodded my head towards the partially opened bedroom door “he asleep?” I asked. “Not quite. I think he’s waiting for you.” Patrick replied “I checked his wounds. Everything seems to be healing nicely just so you know. It’s kinda miraculous actually…... Anyway, I guess I’m gonna go find my husband and head to bed too. See you in the morning Riv.” He dropped a kiss on the top of my head and headed back the way I’d come. I smiled at his back and turned to the bedroom, slipping in and quietly shutting the door behind me. The room was lit by a single candle burning softly on the dresser next to the door. I could just barely see Frank spread out on the bed, eyes closed with the blanket pulled up around his waist. I watched his tattooed chest gently rise and fall for a moment before he stirred slightly and blinked his eyes open. “Hey beautiful. What are you doing all the way over there” he whispered, his voice heavy with sleep. “Just enjoying the view” I returned with a smile, walking towards to bed, kicking my shoes off. I strode over to my side of the bed stopping to remove my shorts and toss them over the arm of the chair sitting in the corner, before climbing onto the mattress and sliding beneath the comforter and snuggling up next to Frank’s side. I raised my face to him and kissed him deeply before pulling back and kissing the tip of his nose. He smiled at me and pressed his nose into my hair, wrapping his arms around me tightly. He sighed and laid his head back down on his pillow, a smile still visible on his face as I rest my head on his chest. “Oh that reminds me” I said after a few minutes. He hummed, indicating that I should continue. I lifted my head back up, resting my chin on his chest, and watched as he cracked his left eye open waiting for me to continue. “Cathryn kissed me.” I said and watched his eyes pop open and his mouth gape. He was silent for a moment and then a sly sexy smile spread across his face. “Hot.” he whispered closing his eye again, the smile never leaving his face. I giggled lightly and pressed a kiss to my tattoo over his chest. “I love you” I said closing my eyes and letting myself be lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his breathing. “Love you too baby” I heard him whisper back and I fell asleep.  
***  
We set out early the next morning. Patrick estimated that it would take about four days to reach our destination, allowing ourselves plenty of time to back track if necessary and finding safe places to rest. Frank and I had never gotten around to really talking like I knew we should since we stayed up way too late packing everything up our last night in the house, and then had a severe lack of privacy while squished together in the back of Pete’s Jeep. We had been on the road for three days when we came upon a wide grassy field and decided to stop for the night. I was overwhelmed by the need to get out of the car and move around, so I hopped out of the back, still wrapped in the quilt I had been snuggled up in, no sooner than Pete shifted into park. “Oh thank God!” I cried out stretching my arms high above me head, and bending forward wincing at the pop and crackle that came from my back. I watched as Joe pulled the van up behind the Jeep and Gee and Cathryn threw open the back door and danced around, happy to be able to move around. I turned gazing at the field to the side of the road. It was covered in knee high grass, dotted with white and purple wildflowers, the light breeze making the grass wave side to side. I turned and smiled at Patrick as he ambled up to me and tossed his arm over my shoulder. I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed. “It’s so pretty out here, but I can’t wait to be in a real house again” I said to him. “Yea. I know we’ve only been on the road for a couple of days, but I am stoked that we’ll be in Boulder by tomorrow afternoon. Not that I don’t love watching Gerard and Cathryn make out in the back of my van or anything” he replied, rolling his eyes, but with a fond smile on his face. I turned and saw Frank deep in conversation with Gerard, who was gesturing wildly. I laughed to myself and turned back to face the field. The sun was sinking to the horizon, painting the sky pinks and yellows, and making the tall grass glow. I readjusted my blanket to wrap around my shoulders like a cape and wandered out into the field. I smiled to myself as I walked further away from the road, watching a squirrel scamper across my path and hurry up a tree. I heard running water and saw a small clearing next to a gently running stream. Throwing my blanket off my shoulders I shook it out and laid it on the soft dirt next to a huge oak tree. I threw myself down and laid down turning my face towards the setting sun. I faintly heard the sounds of a guitar strumming over the murmurings of my friends settling down for the evening, and smiled to myself thinking about how lucky I was to be in this place. With these people. The breeze carried the sound of a guitar playing what sounded like Green Day to me. As i strained to listen, I recognized the sound of Patricks voice singing Good Riddance. “Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time takes you by the wrist, directs you where to go.” I grinned, humming along with him when I heard a twig snap near my head. My eyes flew open and I saw Frank standing just over me with a surprised look on his face. “Oh hey there handsome. Whatcha doin?” I asked grinning up at him. He smiled back and plopped down next to me, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hand. My breath caught in my lungs as I saw the sunlight catch in his green eyes, and make his skin glow. I watched as he stared off into the distance with a slight smile on his face. He suddenly looked down at me as if he felt my gaze, his eyes twinkling in the setting sun. “what are you staring at” he asked me with his lopsided smile. I felt my throat grow tight and reached up to tangle my hand in the back of his hair, dragging him down into a kiss. He gasped slightly before he dropped his left elbow to the ground, holding himself above me, while bringing his other hand up to cup the side of my face. After a moment he pulled back and rested his head against my shoulder. I felt him huff out a breath before he giggled quietly and pressed a kiss to my collar bone. He sat back up, stopping briefly the drop a kiss on the corner of my mouth and smiled at me. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” he asked reaching into his pocket for his crumpled pack of cigarettes and lighter. I watched him shake out a smoke, and place it between his lips before raising the flame of the lighter to the tip. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, tipping his head back as he exhaled into the sky. “Fuck, you’re hot”. It was out of my mouth before I even realized I was talking. He cracked an eye open and smiled at me around his cigarette as I felt my face heat up. “I love that I can still make you blush baby.” he said and he inhaled another drag of smoke and then pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and held it out to me. Instead of taking the smoke from him I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around the end, breathing deeply and staring straight into his eyes. I watched his mouth drop open, and then leaned back dropped my head back blowing the smoke out through my pursed lips. “Jesus Christ, River.” It came out almost as a sigh as he lowered his face to mine again. I giggled and raised my hand to his chest and lightly pushed him back. “Wait. Frank we need to talk. About…….well everything” I said softly looking up at him from beneath my lashes. He sat back up and stared at me for a moment with one perfect eyebrow raised in question. “Yeah, I guess it’s a little overdue huh?” he asked finishing off the cigarette before stubbing it out and setting the butt aside, and leaning back to rest against the tree trunk. “ I just…..I just need you to know why I did what I did.” I whispered, pulling my knees up and resting my chin on them. “Hey.” he said reaching down to grasp my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye. I let out a sigh of relief when I only saw love in his eyes. “I told you, you’re not getting rid of me. And you’d have to run a hell of a lot farther than your mom’s house this time. If you don’t want to talk yet, I can wait.” he said quietly with a soft smile on his face. “No. We can’t just keep putting it off. You have the right to know. And then you can decide if I’m worth the time and effort.” I replied sighing deeply.  
***  
I sighed again, trying to decide where to begin. “Did you know that there was only one other person before you?” I asked, keeping my gaze off into the distance. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Frank shake his head no as he shifted to face me, crossing his legs to sit indian style. “His name was Seth. He asked me to the homecoming dance my freshman year of high school. He was a junior. Tall, blond and handsome, the star of the football team. He was pretty much the exact opposite of who you’d expect to ask out a nerdy emo freshman.” I said with a small smile, remembering the early times. “We dated for almost two years. And for the first six months it was everything that a young stupid girl would dream of. Looking back I can see how stupid I was. But I guess that’s why they say hindsight's 20/20 huh?” I let out a bitter laugh, closing my eyes against the tears that I knew would be coming all too soon. “I was about six months from 15 when we started dating, and it was two weeks before my birthday the first time he hit me.” I heard Frank gasp, but didn’t open my eyes. “He explained it away. He was stressed. Too much homework. His parent’s were coming down on him about thinking about college. The coach was riding his ass. And I believed him. How fucking Lifetime Channel right? ‘He hits me, but he loves me!’ God I was dumb.” I stopped talking for a moment to regain my composure, resting my forehead onto my knees for a moment. I took a deep breath and continued, “It got better for a while, well better in the since that he wasn’t hitting me anymore. He still make me feel like shit on a daily basis.” I added thinking back to all the times he called me horrible names, and told me that I ruined everything. “Until he put me in the hospital over winter break my sophomore year.” I smiled a brittle smile “we told everyone that I fell down the stairs. What we left out was that it was because he punched me in the face.” Frank reached over and grasped my hand, squeezing it lightly. “Baby, you don’t have to do this right now.” he whispered, scooting closer to me. “No. I do. I don’t ever want to talk about this again, So I gotta finish and then it’s done. I ended up with a broken nose, dislocated shoulder and three broken ribs. Seth made it very clear what would happen if anyone found out what really happened, but it didn’t matter anyway. By that time I had succeeding in pushing almost all my friends away anyway. All except Pete, he still hung aroung the edges of my life. Unwilling to give up on me. Anyway, after I was released from the hospital I realized that I had no one. And that everything Seth said to me, that I was useless and ugly and that no one would ever love me, it was all true. So I decided to end it. I walked to a big bridge the ran over a river by my house. I stood on the edge of that bridge for 45 minutes, in the freezing cold, trying to get up the courage to jump. I nearly did it. But then Pete drove up, and asked me what I was doing, made me get in the car and drove me for ice cream.” I smiled again “He always saves me. Even when he doesn’t know it. I spent the next eight months just surviving. Seth still hit me, but he was much more careful about where and when. The verbal abuse got worse too. Somehow he’d heard about the bridge and figured out what I had planned, and that just angered him more. One time he told me the only way that I was getting out was when he decided he was done with me. That he owned me and he could do whatever he wanted to me and no one would care. I somehow made it through my sophomore year of school. He was graduating that year, so I knew the next was going to be better. Maybe I’d finally get away from him. He couldn’t control me from college right? A few weeks before he left for college, we were in his car. We were fighting, we were always fighting by then, and I decided I’d finally had enough. I told him to stop the car. That I was done, and we were over. And he…….he exploded. I woke up two days later in the hospital. We don’t know for sure what happened. The only thing that I know for certain is that he beat the shit out of me and dumped me on Pete’s front porch. That time I ended up with such a severe concussion that they kept me in a medically induced coma to make sure there wasn’t any brain damage. He also broke my jaw, blacked both my eyes and snapped my wrist. I refused to talk to anyone. I wouldn’t say a word, and eventually they released me from the hospital. But not before I had a visit from Seth. He played the concerned boyfriend for everyone in the room, getting them all to leave so he could talk to me alone. He told me that next time it wouldn’t matter how quickly the ambulance got there. He’d make sure I was dead. He just kept spewing awful hate filled things at me, until Pete came in. That’s when Seth stepped back from the bed saying he had to get home. Right before he walked out the door he winked at me and said he’d see me when I was released. They let me go home the next day. When I got there I wrote a note and went to the bathroom with a pack of razors and nothing to live for.  
***  
I stopped to take a deep shuddering breath. I wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks with the back of my hand an sat up straight. Frank leaned forward to gather me in his arms, kissing my temple and resting his head on mine. “Riv, I understand. You don’t have to relive this.” he whispered in my ear. “Don’t worry baby, The worst is over. It’s pretty much up from here” I said smiling softly at him.  
***  
“Pete found me. Again. It was almost too late that time. But I ended up back in the hospital. Pete says it was the same room, but I don’t know if that’s true though.” “Did you tell him?” Frank asked softly. “Didn’t have to, he found the note.” I replied. “From what I hear he beat the living shit out of Seth and then went and talked to the police. Taking the note I’d written with him. He ended up getting charged with simple assault, which considering what I’m told he did to Seth I’m not sure how, but because he was a minor the record was sealed once he turned eighteen. I never saw Seth again. I finished high school but refused to let anyone get close to me. Well except Pete, but considering he’d saved my life at least three times by then, I didn’t really have a choice. I spent a lot of time in therapy, and got put on every kind of antidepressant you can think of, but I still refused to open up to anyone. We graduated, and both got accepted to SVA. That’s where he met Mikey.” I grinned slightly thinking of the first time I saw the gangly blond, “Ironically Mikey was the puzzle piece that started bringing me back, I didn’t have a choice with him. He and Pete became a package deal. And Pete refused to leave me. Mikey was the first friend I had after…...everything. And of course with Mikey comes Gee. Another package deal. And I was ok with them. It didn’t scare me to be around them. I was ok. But still just surviving ya know?” I asked meeting Franks eye for the first time since I’d started talking, and seeing him nod. “And then, right in the middle of a normal boring Thursday afternoon art theory class, in walks the most breathtaking, tattooed human I’d ever laid eyes on.” I smiled watching a bright pink blush color Franks cheeks. “And suddenly it was like all the color came flooding back into my world. He smiled at me, and I fell in love with the way his eyes crinkled like the whole world was a joke. And it terrified me. So I ignored him. I looked away whenever he was near, and left the classroom as soon as I could, running all the way back to my dorm. I successfully avoided him for three weeks. Until one night Mikey, Pete and I went to Gee’s to watch zombie movies. And there he was. Sprawled out on Gerard’s couch reading a comic book.” Frank giggled, clearly remembering that night at Gee’s apartment. “He smiled at me. And I knew I was fucked. It was four months before I admitted I loved him. Another year before he asked me to move in with him. And two more before he asked me to marry him.” I sighed heavily “And that when I lost it again. Everything in me was screaming at me. Telling me that I wasn’t good enough for him. That I would ruin him like I ruin everything. To get out. To leave before he had a chance to leave me. And I did. I ran.” I finished and rested my head on my knees again, waiting for Frank to say something.  
***  
“I just have a couple of questions” Frank said after a long tense silence. I nodded my head, not trusting myself to speak. “You said ‘Pete had saved you three times by then’. Did you try to kill yourself after the last time in high school?” he asked softly. I took a deep breath and nodded my head again, refusing to meet his gaze. “When.” he whispered. “A little over three months ago.” I answered still keeping my face pointed towards the ground. I heard him sigh before he asked “Are you ok now?” I finally looked up, not expecting that to be the next thing he asked. “Uh yeah. Pete kept my pills until recently, and now Patrick has them. At least until I feel like I can be trusted again.” I replied searching his eyes. “Ok good.” he said leaning back onto his hands. I felt my mouth drop open, “wait. What do you mean ‘Ok’?” “Riv, I’m not going to lie to you. I hurts me to think of you going through all that. And I’m so amazed at how strong you are. But I already knew a lot of this.” he put his hand up to stop me as I opened my mouth to ask what he meant. “Not the specifics. But Pete talked to me at the beginning of our relationship. He obviously didn’t tell me what happened to you in detail. Just that you’d been hurt. Bad. And that if I hurt you it would be the last thing I did. Which, by the way, hilarious. He does realize he’s like a string bean right?” I smiled, knowing that was the reaction that he was looking for. “But I also pay attention River. We slept in the same bed for over two years. I’ve seen your scars, and I knew about your pills. But beyond that, I’ve seen the way you react to things. Like you’re always waiting for the worst. And then after you left, I talked to Pete again. Well after I convinced him that I had no idea where you were. And he told me a little more about what happened. So yeah, Ok. None of this changes anything with us River. I love you. And the fact that a terrible piece of shit took advantage of you when you were a kid, doesn’t change that.” he finished maintaining eye contact with me so I could see he meant it. I couldn’t stop the tears that began to fall from my eyes. “Oh baby. Don’t cry.” he whispered catching a tear on his thumb, and pulling me close. “No. You don’t understand. I’m so stupid. I’m still letting him control me. I almost ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because I let him into my head again. And I don’t deserve you.” I sobbed pressing my face against his shirt, literally soaking it with my tears. “Shhhhhhh baby. It’s ok. I got you. Cry all you want. It’s ok.” he continued to whisper to me, rocking me softly until my tears subsided and I fell into an exhausted sleep.  
***  
As my mind rose back into consciousness, I slowly became aware of my surroundings. I realized I was cuddled securely in someone’s lap, and being softly rocked back and forth. I tried to repress a small smile as I realized I was snuggled up with Frank. I next became aware of soft humming and a hand gently carding through my hair. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so cozy and content, and mentally decided to feign sleep a little longer. My head was spinning with the memory of the conversation we had earlier. I couldn’t believe that he had accepted everything so quickly. He was truly the most perfect man I had ever met. I was so lucky to have him back in my life, and I made a silent promise to myself that I wouldn’t let this second chance go to waste. I would spend everyday that I had left to live making him feel as wonderful and needed as he made me feel. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he began to sing softly to himself. Frank had a wonderful voice, but rarely sang out loud, instead preferring to thrash around a stage behind his guitar. I softly held my breath as I listened to him sing. “I know I loved you all my life. I swear I’ve loved you all along. From the first time I laid eyes, until the day I die, I know I’ll love you until the end of time. If you cross my heart, I’ll hope to die” As I listened to him I forgot that I was pretending to sleep, and opened my eyes to watch him. He had his head tipped back slightly, resting on the trunk of the tree he was leaning on, gazing out across the small stream. As he came to the end of the verse, he glanced down and caught me staring, and smiled softly. “Always with the staring River.” he whispered. “You’re beautiful” I replied, bringing my hand up to cup his jaw “did you write that?” I asked He nodded slowly, continuing to run his fingers through my hair. “A few weeks after you left. Writing was the only productive thing I did for pretty much the first couple of months after.” “I left you. With no explanation. And you still write love songs about me?’ I asked, shocked. “You are by far the most wonderful human to ever walk this earth. I don’t deserve you, but I’ll be damned if I ever let you go again.” I finished sitting up and swinging my leg over to straddle his lap. I looked deeply in his eyes on final time before I crashed my lips into his. He made a surprised noise, and then tangled his hand into my hair, tugging slightly and was rewarded with a muffled moan that he caught in his mouth. He slid his hands up the back of my shirt, caressing my back before resting his hands on my hips. Eventually the need to breathe became too much and we were forced to separate, although just barely, our lips brushing one anothers, panting into each others mouths. I pulled back slightly to staring into his green eyes. They were filled with lust, but beneath that was love. I gasped as he suddenly pushed me backwards onto my back and covered me with his body, his hands on on either side of my head holding himself up as he gazed down at me. “I love you so much” he whispered before lowering himself down to attack my mouth with his. I ran my hands over his back feeling the muscles ripple beneath my fingers. He brought his hand up to rest on my stomach beneath my shirt. He slowly began to move his hand further up until he suddenly sat up pulling away from me. I opened my eyes looking up at him in concern, only to have him gesture to me to sit up and abruptly pull my shirt over my head as soon as I did and then gently pushing me back down. He sat completely still for a moment, taking in the sight of my uncovered chest and stomach before he raised his eyes to once again meet mine with a slight smile curling his lips. “Fuck” he whispered quietly, dropping his hand to palm himself through his jeans “I didn’t think it was possible, but you somehow get more beautiful everytime I see you” he finished removing his hand from his groin to rest it on my stomach. I whimpered at the feeling of his warm, guitar calloused hand on my skin. He raised an eyebrow at me smirking slightly “What is it baby?” he asked softly. “Frankie, please.” I pleaded, squeezing my eyes closed as he lightly started running his finger tips up and down my belly. “Please what baby. You have to use your words.” he said smugly, his eyes dancing with laughter when I met them, as he continued to tease me, now tracing my collarbone with one hand as his other began working on the button of my jeans. “Please Frank. Touch me!” I whined, beginning to feel desperate. “But I am touching you gorgeous” he whispered back and leaned down to lick a hot stripe up my abdomen as he dropped his other hand to continue to work on getting my pants open. “Jesus” I gasped out and brought one had to tangle in his soft dark hair, while clamping the other over my mouth to try to hold in the moans that tried to slip out while his mouth continued its journey north. He gently nudged my bra aside to rain soft kisses upon my breast, raising his eyes to look at me. “Oh no baby. You know I love your noises” he said when he saw that I practically had my fist stuffed in my mouth to keep myself quiet. I pleaded with my eyes for him to continue, but instead of going back to mouthing at my flesh, he quirked his eyebrow at me and shook his head. “I can’t hear you if you have your mouth covered baby. And if I can’t hear you how will I know if I’m making you feel good?” he asked, smiling at me. I rolled my eyes at him, lowering my hands and placing them securely under my hips to try to keep them away from my mouth. “As if you don’t know every way to make me scream” I replied, trying to keep a stern look on face the abruptly fell when he lowered his face to mouth at hip bone. He made a pleased noise as he finally got my jeans open and shifted back to allow me to raise my hips so he could yank them down and off, tossing them behind him. He shifted back to sit in his knees and let his gaze drift over my now mostly naked form. He reached behind him, grasping the back of his t-shirt, dragging it up over his head and throwing it to join my jeans and shirt at the base of the tree. He looked down at me for another long moment, his eyes dark with lust and licked his lips before sinking his teeth in the plump lower one. I made an involuntary noise at how hot he looked and reached up to grab the waist of his jeans, pulling him down to cover me once again, immediately biting harshly where his shoulder and neck met, forcing a high needy sound from the back of his throat. I sucked on his neck hard for a moment, creating a dark mark that mingled nicely with his tattoos and then moved up to his ear. “If you don’t touch me I’m going to take of things myself you asshole” I whispered and then nibbled softly on his ear lobe. “Jesus Riv. I know you’re trying to make it that a threat, but that’s so fucking hot.” he groaned before dropping his hand to the elastic band at the top of my panties, slowly inching his finger tips under and down. “Next time baby. Right now I’d prefer your hand to mine” I moaned out as his fingers finally reached the place I was literally aching to be touched. “Fuck baby. You’re so fucking wet for me” he whispered huskily and used his free hand to push the cup of my bra out of the way so he could attach his hot mouth to my nipple. As his mouth mercilessly teased the sensitive nub of skin, his fingers continued to slip lower until he pushed two inside, crooking them slightly to hit that special spot deep inside me. “Oh God Frank.” I whimpered, desperately trying to remaining still as he slipped his free hand beneath the arch in my back, pulling my lower abdomen tightly against his chest. I could feel his hard length pushing against my thigh as he shifted subconsciencly, looking for some kind a friction. I finally gave up trying to remain still and buried my hands deep in his soft brown hair, tugging lightly and throwing my head back and squeezing my eyes shut at the intense pleasure radiating from my groin. “Frank, Frankie, please I want to feel you inside me baby. Please, it’s been too long.” I moaned quietly, causing him to stop teasing me and raise his face to meet my eyes. “Are you sure” he whispered, looking me square in the eye. As I looked down at him it suddenly hit me again what I almost threw away. That I almost lost this. My stomach clenched tightly and I reached down to grasp his jaw, hauling him up to press my lips tightly to his, the passion that had flooded our kisses previously replaced with pure love. He sighed and carefully pulled away from me, resting his forehead against mine. “Take off your fucking pants” I whispered causing a small giggle to slip from his lips. “I like it when you boss me around” he replied before kissing me lightly on the tip of my nose and shifting back to remove the offending piece of clothing. I watched intently as he stood and unbuttoned his loose jeans, letting them fall from his slender hips and pool on the ground at his feet. I took a deep breath and he looked up smirking at me before standing up straighter and letting me look at him. The way the setting sun was shining through the leaves on the trees painted his olive skin in a golden hue and highlighted the dark ink adorning to majority of his body. His tight black boxer briefs rested securely at his hips, but did nothing to disguise his rock hard length straining against the thin cotton fabric for freedom. I raised my hands and extended my hands towards him, making a grabbing gesture “gimme” I said and was almost blinded by the bright sunny smile that broke out over his face. “Yes ma’am” he said kneeling down and settling back between my knees. He kissed me hard as he reached beneath me to unclasp my bra and then slid the straps down my arms. He then brought his hands down to my panties and slowly pulled them down, while gently pressing soft kisses across my collar bones and down to my breasts. I sighed at the feeling of his light stubble rubbing harshly over my skin. Once my underwear had joined the rest of our clothes, and I lie naked on the blanket, Frank once again stopped to stare at me. After a long moment I raised an eyebrow at him “Who’s starring now?” I asked sarcastically, seeming to snap him out of his thoughts, as he surged forward resting his weight on his palms as he held himself over me. “Ya know, I had every intention of waiting until we got to Boulder to do this so I could keep my promise to you. But I don’t think I can wait for a mattress to fuck you through Riv. So I guess this blanket will have to due for now. But I promise you. First fucking mattress we find, River…..” he said roughly to me “But first” he shifted his weight so he was leaning mostly on his left arm and trailed his mouth from my belly button to my clit, stopping to run his nose lightly through the dark curls obscuring it before delicately running his tongue over the sensitive nub. I gasped sharply as he continued to run his tongue further down over my lips. He brought one hand up to slip two fingers back inside me and licked around them making me tremble and moan softly. Frank pulled back slightly to bite and lick lightly at the inside of my thighs. “Fuck River. I could do this all fucking day. You taste so goddamn good.” he whispered against my skin before bringing his mouth back to where his fingers were pushing into me. After licking around his fingers for a few minutes he trailed his tongue back up to my clit and sucked harshly causing me to gasp in pleasure and reach down to yank hard on his hair to pull him to my mouth. I could taste myself on his tongue and that only made me kiss him harder. I pulled back slightly when I began to get dizzy from lack of oxygen and whispered against his mouth, “Fuck me Frank. I wanna feel you for days”. He placed one last kiss on my lips before leaning back to remove his boxers. I licked my lips hungrily as I saw his hard dick lightly slap his lower stomach once it was free on the confining material, wanting to taste him. I raised my heavy lidded eyes to watch as he spit on him hand and slowly stroke his cock, groaning at the feeling. “You sure about this River?” he whispered one last time and I nodded quickly, meeting his eyes. “Use your words baby.” he answered back. “Yes Frank. Please. I love you.” I said softly gazing up at him pleadingly. He smiled at me “I love you too Riv” he said to me before lining himself up to my entrance and slowly pushing in. I winched slightly at the feeling. It had been almost two years since I’d had any kind of intimate contact that didn’t involve my hand or a vibrator. Once he was fully sheathed in my tight wet heat he paused and buried his head in my neck, my skin muffling his groan. He bit lightly at the spot behind my ear before leaning back to look me in the eye. “you ok?” he asked. “Fuck yes. I feel so fucking full Frankie. Were you always this goddamn big?”. I watched as his eyes crinkled up with a smile through hazy eyes. He then shifted back slightly and rocked roughly into me. “Fuck!” I exclaimed as he hit that spot inside me to made me see stars on the first try. I gripped his shoulders so hard I’m sure I broke the skin with my nails. “You better hold on baby.” he said to me before he picked up his pace and was all but slamming into me. I was sure I would have bruises from the grip he had on my hips but I didn’t care. I threw my head back, tossing my hair out of my eyes feeling my gut tighten “Frank! I’m not gonna last!” I whimpered out. “Me too baby. I want you to come for me though. Let me feel you come around me.” he panted out before reaching down to rub his thumb over my clit. Seconds later the entire world whited out as I felt the tension in my stomach snap and a wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me. I was dimly aware of Frank yelling horsley as he reached his orgasmn. He continued to rock gently into me, riding out his high, as I sighed contentedly. When he was finally finished he pulled out and rolled off me with a happy sigh. He reached over to fish his shirt out of the pile of discarded clothes and quickly wiped the two of us clean before tossing it back towards the rest. He then reached across me to grasp the edge of the blanket, throwing it over the two of us and snuggling down beside me. He kissed my shoulder and sighed again, before settling down next to me. I giggled as I watched him close his eyes with a slight smile on his face. “Shhhhhh” he whispered “Sleep now.” I laughed again at him and laid next to him, resting my head on his chest. He brought his hand up to run his fingers through my hair. I hummed happily and smiled to myself as I drifted off to sleep.  
***  
It was getting dark when I opened my eyes. Franks chest rising and falling softly was soothing beneath my head. I sighed, smiling and then hissed as a familiar ache radiated from my lower half as I shifted to sit up. I smiled harder at the feeling. I was startled out of my reverie by someone clearing their throat not ten feet from me. I tensed, snapping my head up towards the noise, pulling the blanket more securely around my chest. I let out a deep breath that I didn’t know I’d been holding when I saw my best friend leaning against a tree just to the right of me. “Jesus Christ Pete! How long have you been standing there you perv!” I whisper yelled at him. Through the dim light I could see his bright smile. “I never knew you were just a voyeur Riv.” he replied to me, his smirk clear in the tone of his voice. I rolled my eyes at him, although I knew he wouldn’t be able to see me “Is there something you wanted or are you just here to creep on me?” I asked, moving the blanket slightly so I could sit up and still have the important parts covered up. “I was actually sent to find you two, since you wandered off and we weren’t sure where you went.” he replied, readjusting his weight, and moving away from the tree. “And how’d you get volunteered for that” I heard Frank ask in a rough sleep clogged voice next to me. I turned my head and looked down at him. It really wasn’t fair that someone could look so utterly breathtaking after just waking up. “Oh that’s simple” Pete answered as he walked closer so he could see Franks face better. “I’m the only one that didn’t mind seeing either of you naked.” he said smugly. “I swear to God Peter….” I began, smacking Franks shoulder as I felt him shaking with laughter next to me “You had no way of knowing you would find us like this!” I squeaked, my cheeks turning red. “Oh baby, you are anything but quiet Riv.” He responded with a cheeky smile. “Anyway, you guys might want to get back to camp if you want something to eat. Clothing completely optional, I assure you.” Pete finished and turned to start back towards our cars, throwing a wink over his shoulder before he disappeared. I sunk back down onto the blanket, throwing my arm over my eyes in embarrassment. “Welp. Just leave me here to die. At least I got one last orgasm…….” I whimpered, burying my face in Franks chest until I felt my face stop burning. Frank laughed, and kissed the top of my head “Come on babe, lets go get something to eat.” he remarked throwing back the blanket and sitting up. I pouted at him, before I pushed myself to my feet, bending over to retrieving my clothing. I yelped as he smacked my ass before reaching around me to pick up his jeans. After tugging on my bra and shirt, I reached back down to search for my underwear, not finding them. “Uh Frank….do you see my underwear?” I questioned, turning around to see him fastening the button of his pants. “Oh these?” He asked pulling the article of clothing in question from his back pocket, “yea, I don’t think you’ll be needing these anytime soon.” I watched as he stuffed them back in his pocket and picked up the blanket. He turned to leave the clearing, stopping to blow a kiss at me before he disappeared. “That man is going to be the fucking death of me, I swear” I whispered to myself, yanking my pants back on and stumbling back towards where are friends were gathered.  
***  
I followed the faint sound of laughing and talking until I could see where my friends had set up camp. There was a small fire burning several yards from the vehicles where the group seemed to be gathered around. As I walked closer, I saw Frank reach our loose circle of friends and toss the blanket to the ground next to Gerard and Cathryn, and then throw himself on top of it. I watched as Gerard reached over to ruffle Franks already mussed hair, making him swat at Gee hand and push him towards Cathryn. Gee looked up and caught my eye. “Oh hey Riv. Whatcha been up to?” he called to me as he shifted around, leaning back until he was almost laying in Cathryn’s lap. I felt my cheeks heat as I remembered Pete’s comment about me not being quiet, and realized that they all most likely knew exactly what we’d be up to. My struggle to come up with a response was brought to an end when Patrick tossed a rolled up pair of socks at Gerards head, smacking him in the forehead. “Leave them alone Gee. It’s not like you haven’t spent the last week with your mouth glued to Cathryn’s. Let them have some fun. Lord knows they deserve it.” he called from across the fire. Now it was Gerard’s turn to blush, ducking his head and allowing his hair to sweep down in front of his face. Cathryn’s eyes widened slightly and a small smile crept across her face. Her gaze caught mine for a moment before she dropped me a wink and leaned over to softly whisper into Gerard’s ear. I watched for a minute and it began to feel like I was intruding as she began to nuzzle her face into his neck, and I heard him gasp, his head snapping back up. He abruptly stood up, reaching down to grasp her hand, pulling her up and into his arms. “We’re, uh…...we’ll be back” he sputtered before dragging a giggling Cathryn off into the gathering dark. “Have fun kids!” Frank called after them, laughing lightly before he grabbed my hand and pulled me down into his lap. “Hi baby” he said as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. I turned my head and met his mouth with mine in a heated kiss, parting my lips when I felt his tongue glide across my lower lip. Forgetting where I was I shifted in Frank’s lap and brought my hand up to cup the back of his face. I began to turn to embrace him fully when I heard Pete wolf whistle from behind me, causing me to snap back in reality and whip around to face him. I saw him sitting cross legged on a blanket with Mikey not ten left to my left. He had his arm propped up on his knee, chin resting on his palm, and a wide smile on his face. “Pete you are such a fuckin creep” I heard Mikey intone, shaking his head and laying back to gaze at the sky. “What! I’m just enjoying the free show” Pete answered wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me. “Why am I even friends with you?” I asked rolling my eyes at him before turning my attention to Patrick and Joe, who were sitting together across the fire. I noticed that Joe was cradling a guitar in his lap, that he was idly strumming softly as he spoke quietly with Patrick. “Joe! Play something!” I yelled from my seat. I watched his head snap up and a lazy smile make its way across his face and his blue eyes met mine, crinkling up in a smile. “Only if my handsome husband will sing.” he replied turning to look at Patrick. I saw Patrick roll his eyes. “Ok. But only one song.” Patrick answered back, leaning close to press a quick kiss to Joe’s lips. “What would you like to hear?” Joe questioned sitting up straighter to properly position the instrument in his lap. “Play her the song that you guys were talking about finishing.” Pete said, flipping his body to lay on his stomach, resting his chin on his crossed arms. “Wait! You guys write music! I wanna hear an original!” I exclaimed, bouncing slightly in Franks lap out of excitement, only stopping when I felt his grip tighten on my hips and heard his quick inhale. I smirked to myself, and wiggled slightly one last time before returning my full attention to Patrick and Joe. I watched as they talked quietly to each other for a moment before Joe started to strum the guitar with more purpose and Patrick sat up straighter, clearing his throat and closing his eyes and began to sing. “Every words a new regret if you say it right, right. Every wound can be forgotten in the right light. Oh nostalgia I don’t need you anymore. ‘Cause the salad days are over and the meat is at my door. Cause they might, try to tell you how to live your life. But don’t, don’t forget it’s your right. To do whatever you like, you like, you like. Cause you can be your own spotlight. Depression is a little bit like happy hour, right? It’s always gotta be happening somewhere on any, given, night. And oh nostalgia I don’t need you anymore. I just hope, my perfect stranger, that my kids look more like yours. Cause they might, try to tell you how to live your life. But don’t, don’t forget it’s your right. To do whatever you like, you like, you like. Cause you can be your own spotlight.” I eased myself out of Frank’s lap and lay down next to him on the blanket, letting the beautiful song wash over me. I smiled, tangling my fingers with Franks as I gazed up at the twinkling stars. Feeling content for the first time in a really long time.  
***  
Several hours, many songs and some campfire cooked canned food later, it was evident that the majority of our group were drooping. Gerard and Cathryn had resurfaced about 45 minutes after they’d disappeared. Cathryn with suspiciously stained knees and swollen lips, and Gee looking blissed out and boneless. They had resumed their spot next to us, leaning against one another, staring bleary eyed into the fire. Patrick and Joe were also teetering on the edge of passing out across the fire, while Mikey and Pete had abandoned us a while ago to try to sleep in the back of the Jeep. As I watched Joe leaned over and whispered into Patrick’s ear before getting up and heading towards the van. Patrick stood and strode over to us, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses. “Hey, Joe and I are gonna go try to get some sleep in the back of the van, so we can be fresh to drive tomorrow. Are you guys gonna be ok out here?” he asked wearily. Frank and I were mostly awake as we’d had a decent nap earlier, but I felt bad that everyone else was so worn out. Frank sat up from next to me, “Do you think we should have someone stand watch for the night? Just to be safe?” he asked Patrick. I watched as Patricks shoulders slumped and he raised his hand to push his hat up to rub at his forehead. “Fuck. Probably.” he sighed “After what happened to Cathryn, we can’t know if we’re really safe until we get to Boulder.” I could literally see the exhaustion bending his form at the thought of staying awake much longer. “Hey, listen Patrick. I had a pretty good nap earlier. I can stay up and keep watch. The sun’s gonna be up in a few hours anyway. Then I can sleep in the Jeep while Pete is driving tomorrow.” Frank offered. I watched as Patrick’s eyes widen and a sunny smile broke across his tired face. “Hey that would be amazing. If you’re sure, that is.” Patrick answered back, looking hopefully at Frank. “Of course. You go get some sleep, and I’ll keep an eye on things out here.” Frank replied. “Ok cool. Well I guess I’ll see you in a few hours then. If you feel like you need to sleep just come let us know” I could see the relief in Patrick eye’s as he turned and slumped towards the van. “I will dude. Sleep well” Frank called back. Once Patrick had retreated to the cargo space of the van, Gerard shifted to allow Cathryn to lay on their blanket closer to the fire. He turned to look at Frank, “We’ll just sleep out here if that’s cool with you guys.” he said, running his hand through Cathryn’s red-blond hair. I heard her sigh in contentment as her eye drifted closed, a slight smile on her lips. “Yea, dude that’s fine. Here” Frank responded, reaching over to grab the blanket that Pete and Mikey had left on the ground next to us. Frank handed it to Gee and I watched as he shook the cloth out and tenderly spread it over the sleepy girl. He reached down to turn Cathryn’s head towards him, and lowered his face to hers, sealing their lips in a delicate kiss, before he laid next to her. He shifted around, pulling her close and arraigning the blanket to cover Cathryn completely before the both settled down and appeared to fall asleep. I felt Frank shift next to me before he stood up, stretching. I winched at the sound of his back popping, and was surprised when he reached down for my hand. I looked up and saw him smiling down at me as I grasped his hand and allowed myself to be pulled to my feet. “Hey gorgeous” he whispered when I was on my feet, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close. I reached up and ran my hand through his dark shaggy hair, smiling “Hi yourself handsome” I echoed. He slowly started started swaying back and forth and I brought my arms up to circle his neck, laying my head on his chest as he began to hum quietly to me. We slowly danced our way around the fire to the beat of the song that he was singing quietly under his breath. When we came upon the thick blanket that Joe and Patrick had left on the ground near the edge of the fire, he dipped me deeply, before pulling me back to him and kissing my hard. I pulled away gasping and gazed into his dark green eyes, aware of the want that was evident in my own. He smirked at me and softly shook his head “Baby if you keep looking at me like that, there is zero chance I’m going to know if anything dangerous is creeping up on us.” he said to me, gently running his hand up my neck, to grasp the back of my head pulling me once again to his mouth to kiss me soundly. He broke apart from me and abruptly sat down, pulling me down with him. I settled against his chest, watching the fire for several minutes before Frank started to talk.  
***  
“My mom grew up in an orphanage.” I felt his warm breath on the back of neck as he talked. “I didn’t know that” I replied feeling confused at the odd topic of conversation. “Yea, I don’t like to talk about her very much. She died when I was 14. Hit by a drunk driver. The fucker that hit her walked away without a scratch.” My heart ached for him and I reached down to where his arms were wrapped around my waist, tightly gripping his hand. “I, uh, I never knew my dad. From what mom said he ran as soon as she told him she was pregnant with me. So she was really all I ever had growing up. And when she died…….I mean, I was devastated but it was more than that. She was everything to me. My mom, my only real family, but also my best friend. We never really had much, but she did everything to make sure I had a decent childhood. And then suddenly, she was gone. And I didn’t know what was going to happen to me. Sometimes she’d tell me what it was like living in the orphanage, and it sounded awful. The social worker that came to the school seemed nice, but I was terrified to be sent to a home. When she took me back to the house to get my stuff, I grabbed a bag of clothes and snuck out the back door. I was on the street for six months” He stopped talking for a moment, clearly gathering his thoughts. I felt more than heard him take a deep breath before he started talking again. “One day, in the middle of January, I was sitting in the doorway of an abandoned building trying to stay warm, wearing every piece of clothing that I had and I was still so fucking cold. Most of the people walking past me just ignored me obviously, no one wanted to help a dirty kid on the streets of New Jersey. But then this lady came up to me with a cup of hot chocolate.” He chuckled dryly “ Best fucking hot chocolate I’ve ever had. And then she left. I expected that to be it until she came back about fifteen minutes later with a blanket, a mug of soup and one of those puffy coats. She sat there on the cement steps with me while I ate. She didn’t try to make me talk to her, she just kept me company. Over the next several days she brought me hot chocolate and something to eat everyday and I found out that her name was Donna and she owned the coffee shop just down the street from where she’d found me. She was the first person that had shown me any kind of kindness since my mom died, and I found myself trusting her. I eventually told her my name and how I came to live on the streets. About a week after I met her she asked me to come stay with her. She said that there was a really bad storm coming and she didn’t want me outside. Now I know that sounds, but I trusted her. And she had told me that she had two kids at home so it’s not like it was gonna just be us or anything. And quite honestly I was really scared about the storm. You know how bad the winters are in Jersey. I could have died. So anyway, I agreed.” He stopped for a moment and hugged me tightly to his chest, burying his face in my hair and sighed. He cleared his throat and continued “And that’s how I met Gerard and Mikey. Donna was their mom.” He explained “After I stayed with them for about a week, she sat me down and said that she had talked to a social worker about me. At first I was terrified that she was sending me away. I think she could see it in face cause she immediately assured me that I wasn’t going to be taken away. She wanted me to stay.” Frank laughed “Obviously I wanted to stay too. Just before my sixteenth birthday I was legally adopted, and the rest is history. So I understand what it’s like to feel hopeless. I know how it feels to be alone and feel like no one cares. But I also know how that, as cheesy as it sounds, all that is temporary. Yea, shitty things happen. People are awful, and the world can fuck you up. But sometimes,” he paused again and squeezed me hard, “sometimes you’ll find something that makes all the pain, and tears worth it.” I sat completely still for a moment, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. I swallowed thickly and turned myself in his lap. I gently cradled his face between the palms of my hands and laid a gentle kiss on his lips. “You are the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me. I’m sorry that I was so stupid to leave, but I am never letting you go ever again.” I whispered against his lips before kissing him again. “I really glad you said that.” He said once we broke apart gently moving me off his lap and reaching into the pocket of his jeans. He shifted to his knees and held out his closed fist. “I’ve carried this around with me for the last two years, hoping that I would be able to give it back to you.” he admitted slowly opening his fingers so I could see what laid on his palm. There, sparkling brightly in the fire light, was the ring that I left on my pillow the night I left. I snapped my eyes up to meet his, tears once again filling my eyes. He raised his eyebrows at me and bit his lip, looking nervous. “Well? What are you waiting for?” I asked holding my left hand out to him, so he could slip the ring on my second to last finger. The smile that broke across his face was almost blinding. He slide the ring onto my finger and grasped the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss that tasted of love and new beginnings.  
***  
Frank and I spent the next few hours lying together on the blanket talking about anything that came into our heads. I’m not sure how, but somehow we ended up talking about which would be better, being turned into a frog or a mouse. “I don’t know babe. Think about how cool it would be to be able to jump like a frog. Plus they’re amphibians so you can live in the water and out of it. I’d much rather be a frog than a mouse” he reasoned, gesturing wildly as he spoke passionately about the merits of being a frog. “No, see you’re not thinking about it aesthetically speaking” I said sitting up and turning to face Frank fully. “Mice are cute with their big ears and their cute little noses” I answered bringing my hands up to the sides of my head to form ears and scrunching up my face and wiggling my nose to mimic how a mouse would look. I saw Frank’s eye grow wide before he slapped his hands over his mouth, giggling wildly. “Ya know, growing up with Gerard you’d think I’d seen it all, but you guys are seriously the weirdest of the weird.” I looked up to see Mikey sauntering towards us, shaking his head with a slight smile on his face. He dropped down beside us and reached over me to gently poke Frank in the stomach as he continued to shake with laughter. “What are you doing out here Mikey” I asked as Frank tried to get a hold of himself, rolling to his side and forcing himself into a upright position, still snorting and he struggled to contain his giggling. “Couldn’t sleep anymore” Mikey answered watching Frank finally get himself under control, his laughter stopped abruptly by a massive jaw cracking yawn. “Hey if you guys wanna go try to sleep a while, I can stay out here.” Mikey said eyeing Frank as he rubbed his eye with his fist, looking adorably childlike. “I’m good. I can stay out here with you if you want.” I responded “But Frank you should really go try to nap a little. I’ll be ok out here. Mikes’ll protect me.” I turned to press a kiss to Frank’s temple and then looked in his eyes. “Yea, Pete the Stringbean would be better protection than him.” Frank responded, receiving a flick to the ear from Mikey before looking me in the eye. “You sure? You’re not tired?” I shook my head in answer “I slept more than anyone else today. I’m good. I’ll keep Mikey company.” “Go snuggle up with my adorable stringbean Frank. See you in a few hours” Mikey reassured Frank as he got to his feet after kissing me. We watched as he ambled towards the Jeep, and scrambled over the side into the back seat. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard him laugh like that.” Mikey said after a moment. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and stuck one in his mouth, lighting it before handing the box and lighter to me. We sat side by side for several minutes before I broke the silence. “Frank told me about what your mom did for him.” I whispered. I heard Mikey hum in answer as he leaned back to lay down on the blanket. I turned slightly to look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked him watching him breath in deeply from his cigarette before plucking it out of his mouth and exhaling into the dark sky. He watched the smoke drift away for a moment before he met my eyes. “Wasn’t my story to tell.” He responded quietly watching my face carefully. “Just like your story wasn’t mine to tell him” He finished bringing the cigarette back to his mouth once more. I turned back towards the fire, reaching for the pack of cigarettes and pulling one free and placing it between my lips, raising the lighter to light it. Mikey sat up quickly grabbing my left hand and turning it so my ring caught the firelight. He raised his eyes to meet mine. “I’m glad he finally gave this back to you” He said softly “Don’t hurt him again Riv.” “Mikey I promise you. I’ve never letting him go again.” I answered back shifting my hand to grasp his fingers, squeezing them briefly. “Good” he responded, dropping my hand and lying back down to stare at the sky.  
***  
Mike and I spent the next couple of hours in comfortable silence before our friends started to awaken. I watched Cathryn begin to stir across the fire, sitting up suddenly and pushing her hair out of her face before leaning down and sweetly kissing Gerard on the check. She began running her fingers through his hair while whispering to him, clearly trying to wake him up gently. I heard Mikey huff next to me before he called “That’s not gonna work.” Cathryn snapped her head up and raised an eyebrow at Mikey, watching him stand up and make his way around the fire unscrewing a bottle of water that he had been drinking from as he walked. Once he reached his sleeping brother he gently nudged Cathryn out of the splash zone and unceremoniously dumped the remaining water onto Gerards face. The effect was instantaneous. Gerard sprung to his feet, sputtering and gasping shaking his long wet hair out of his face. I watched in amusement as I saw his eyes land on his younger brother who was smirking at him while screwing the cap back on his bottle. I heard Gerard growl menacingly, and saw Mikey’s eyes widen for a brief moment before he took off running, with Gerard chasing close behind. I threw back my head in laughter watching the two grown men run around, listening to Gee yell profanities at his brother. I turned and saw Joe and Patrick stumbling out of the back of the van, blinking at the morning light, stretching their arms over they’re heads looking rested. Pete popped his head over the back seat of the Jeep and I giggled again at the birds nest of hair on the top of his head. In that moment I realized that everything was going to be ok. That we had survived the end of the world and it had only brought us together. I looked around at the people that had come to mean more than anything to me and felt hope bloom in my chest. I watched as Frank levered himself out of the back of the Jeep and ambled towards me, his eyes meeting mine as a bright smile broke across his face. And I knew. This was it. These people were my home.  
***  
Five Years Later  
I sat on a blanket beneath a large oak tree in a sunny field watching a group of children run and play amongst themselves. I smiled to myself as I saw Pete chasing after a particular dark haired girl, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. Her happy shriek pierced the air as she started beating her small fists against his back. I smiled to myself as I noticed a small blond girl whispering conspiratorially to an equally tiny dark haired boy, before nodding at one another and launching themselves at Pete, effectively knocking him to his knees, holding his prisoner high to keep her from falling to the ground. I heard his loud braying laughter as the three children now jumped on him and began tickling him wildly. A shadow fell over me and I looked up to see Cathryn standing next to me, her hand placed protectively on her swollen belly. I smiled up at her, shifting the sleeping infant that I had cuddled in my arms to move slightly to the left making room for her to sit. She carefully lowered herself down beside me, letting out a sigh as she made herself comfortable. “Jesus, I am ready to get this kid out of me” she huffed leaning back on her hands and watching our children harass my best friend. “This is the last one for me. I don’t care how epic Gerards puppy dog eyes are, I am never doing this again. Riv. How the fuck you do this with twins I will never know” She said and she leaned over and gently ran her fingers over the baby’s cheek, smiling down at him. I laughed “Well it helps that me and Frank are fucking tiny, so our babies are also pretty small…...but I’m not gonna lie it was pretty fucking terrible.” I finished laughing again. I lifted my gaze to look for my children and saw them playing what looked like tag with Pete. “At least Henry here was easy.” She said smiling down at the baby in my arms as he blinked his wide green eyes open and smiled toothlessly at her. “Can I?” She asked, raising her eyebrows to me. “Of course Aunt Cathryn! You can snuggle with my babies when ever you want.” I exclaimed handing my youngest to her. I lifted my eyes to watch my two oldest holding hands as they ran after Gee and Cathryn’s daughter Octavia. “Is Tavy excited about the new baby?” I asked turning to face my friend. She laughed as she gently rocked the baby, “She says that babies are too noisy and when he gets here shes going to go live with Rory and Cole. And she’s pretty mad that its not a girl” she finished with a giggle. I laughed along with her saying “Honestly with my three and Frank running around, it’d probably be a good week before I realized that there was an extra mouth to feed.” We continued to giggle as we watched our children terrorize Pete. After a while I saw Frank and Gerard come into view. Frank raised his hand to shade his eyes as he looked around before spotting Cathryn and I seated across the field. He nudged Gee and pointed towards us, and the two began to make their way towards us. I watched Cathryn’s face light up when she saw Gerard ambling our way, and gently reached over to relieve her of the baby so she could greet her husband. Gee jogged the last couple of feet and dropped down beside Cathryn, cupping her face between his hands and bringing his mouth to hers. I smiled and looked up to meet Franks eyes. He winked at me and took a seat next to me, softly kissing my cheek. “Hows my big strong man?” He asked reaching over to allow Henry to grasp his finger. “Oh did you miss daddy?” He asked, stretching over to take the baby into his arms, cuddling him close and laying a light kiss on his forehead. I watched him whisper quietly to his youngest son with a faint smile on my face when I suddenly heard my daughter yelling followed by crying. I snapped my head up to look around and saw Rory standing over another child that was laying on the ground with a thunderous look on her face, while Tavy knelt next to Cole several feet behind her. “Aurora Evangeline. What have I told you about hitting other children!” I yelled to her watching her face snap up to meet my gaze. “You come here this instant.” I said sternly pointing to the ground in front of me. I saw her huff with the indignance only a four year old can manage and begin to trudge towards me, Tavy and Cole following behind like a pair of lost puppies. I kept a hard gaze on my only daughter as she came to a stop directly in front of me. “What do you have to say for yourself young lady?” I asked her raising an eyebrow at her scowl. “Mama, that girl pushed Cole down and made him cry. No one makes my brother cry. So I punched her.” she responded pointing behind her to the other child that was now running around with the other children. I lifted my gaze to look at Cole’s face and saw tears drying on his cheeks. “God job Rory! Family sticks up for one another right!” Frank piped up from beside me lifting his hand to our daughter for a high five. “Frank! You can not support your daughter being a bully! I think it’s time to go home.” I snapped, now glaring at Frank, shaking my head as my two oldest children began to whine about wanting to play longer. Pete and Mikey both suddenly appeared behind them and Pete scooped up Rory, placing the small girl on his shoulder. Mikey looked down and held his arms out to Cole, catching him when he jumped up and placing Cole on his shoulders like his sister. “Come on Tavs. I think it’s nap time for us too” Gerard said standing and then helping his heavily pregnant wife to her feet. He swung his daughter up, lifting her above his head so he could blow a loud raspberry on her belly before settling her on his hip. “Coming baby?” Frank asked softly, sliding his head over my cheek and looking into my eyes. “I’ll be right behind you handsome.” I whispered back, pressing my lips quickly to his before he stood and ambled after our friends and family. I sat still for a few minutes, watching my loved ones laugh and talk to one another as they made their way towards our homes. I sighed happily, standing up and grabbing the blanket that lay on the ground jogging to meet up with Frank and wrapping my arm around his waist. “I love you” I whispered to him as I laid my head on his shoulder. He smiled turning his head to face me, whispering back “Now, forever and until the end of time”.  
The End.


End file.
